If you think all people in hospice care never leave alive, you don’t know jack about Raynell. My
diabetic hospice patient with dementia, Raynell shared a room with four other
patients at the nursing home. Her fourth roommate was an imaginary admirer
named Robert, whom she loved like the devil loves holy water. Conversing with
Raynell required that I drop to the floor periodically and search for Robert
under her bed. This was preceded by her screaming, “Get him! He’s going under
the bed!” after he (affectionately?) pinched her swollen and tingling diabetic legs. It’s
love, remember? But one day, she surprised me with talk about leaving hospice
care and the nursing home:
Raynell requested my assistance by saying, “I was wondering if you could help me find another apartment. I’ve
been thinking about looking for a new place to stay, maybe a place closer to
where I used to live. This apartment building is too noisy. Just close your
eyes and listen to all the talking, buzzers, and everything. People come into
my place without even knocking. They just walk right in and go through my
closet and drawers. It’s not right. Three ladies even moved in with me when I wasn’t
looking. Now, I can’t get them out.”
“Whoa! That’s a surprise! I
didn’t know you wanted to leave here. Are you sure moving is the best thing to
do while you’re not feeling well?”
“Lately, I’m feeling much
better. I need a change. Even Robert had to leave, so you know it’s bad. But
I’m very glad about that. He’s gone to live in California. I don’t think he’ll
be coming back again.”
“A lot sure has happened
since I visited you last week. You never said you wanted to move before or that
the other people who live here bothered you so much. All this really shocks
me.”
I thought about this
interesting conversation a while. It was the first time Raynell ever mentioned
moving to an apartment and, even more astonishing, the first time she ever said
Robert wasn’t hiding under her bed. Two weeks later, she was released from
hospice care because her health really had improved. She moved to another
nursing home near her son’s house. I guess Robert knew his time was almost up
and decided to leave before he got left.
© Frances Shani Parker
Yes, it’s rare, but
patients are released from hospice care. Some live where they are or move to
another location. Consider that with various diseases causing the need for
hospice care, it is difficult to predict someone’s death with accuracy. Also,
receiving quality healthcare and support from others can improve a patient's
health. And when an imaginary admirer named Robert knows it’s time to leave,
the patient may be moving in that direction, too.
Frances Shani Parker,
Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer
in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book
editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
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