Older adults have several
perspectives regarding life after the death of a loved one. Their perspectives
can be used by nurses to improve their insights regarding the care they give
hospice patients. End-of-life research on how the death of a significant other influenced older
adults' perspectives about their own end-of-life is
helpful.
This research involved 15 older adults residing in a continuing care retirement community. Their
challenges in losing a loved one revealed these four themes:
1)
Peacefully-slip away with no heroics
2)
Familiarity-making
plans that stick
3)
Tying
up loose ends-what's left to do
4)
Accepting-my
time is up.
This study
implies that nurses with medical providers should openly discuss with older
adults their end-of-life concerns and care
desired.
Curious about what my own
hospice patient’s perspective was about life beyond death, I asked her about
that and included our conversation in my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer inUrban Nursing Homes. I refer to life after death
as the Other Side of Through.
Many people believe in life after
death. For them, death is a comma, a pause proceeded by a dash into another
dimension of life. Others say that life as we know it while living is all
there is to existence. They consider death to be a period at the end of the
final sentence in their life stories.
One day, my patient named Mabel
(pseudonym) received a birthday card from her church members. This led to an
interesting conversation about life after death.
“Were you active in your church?” I
asked.
“Well, not too much. I helped out
with a few fundraising activities like the annual church bazaar. I usually
worked at the ticket booth. I didn’t want to be too active because I have my
own personal views about religion. I don’t see religion the way most of my
church people see it, so I stayed kind of low-key. Religion is fine, but I
don’t believe in God. I only believe in Jesus.”
“Really? Why is that?”
“Jesus was a person in real life.
People saw him and wrote down what he did and what he said as part of history.
I know that Jesus existed. He was right there walking and talking in front of
people. Nobody can deny that. But God is different. Nobody has really seen him.
Nobody knows how he looks or even what he is. That’s why I don’t believe in
God. But I definitely believe in my Jesus.”
“What about heaven, Mabel? What do
you think of that?”
“If there is no God, then there is
no heaven. It wouldn’t make sense to have a heaven without God. That’s how I
see it.”
“What do you think happens after
people die?”
“What do I think happens? Nothing.
They get buried, and their problems are over. Their problems end, and ours
continue.”
© Frances Shani Parker
Mabel’s belief about life after
death is one of numerous opinions that people have. Many have thought about
the possibility of immortality. They connect it with a soul, reward, and
punishment. Some have lived their lives according to those beliefs. For those
who believe in an afterlife, there is often a spiritual motivation linked with
nature’s cycles of birth and death. They embrace the mystery with faith and
decide there is no spiritual death, only a change in their immortal soul’s
experience.
Of course, there are others who say
they don’t know what to believe. Scientific research on near-death experiences
and other death-related phenomena continues to accumulate data to shed new
light on discussions about life after death. Ultimately, people have to decide
for themselves what they want to believe.
Suzanne Newcombe, lecturer in religious studies at The Open University says, “We are profoundly ignorant about many things in life. What
happens after death is just one of them.” This video further explains people’s beliefs
about death and the afterlife.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer inUrban Nursing Homes
is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
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