Person-Centered Death Rituals (Video 2:16)

“Rest in peace” is a common wish for those who are deceased. But this short sentence can encompass a lot when viewed from a person-centered perspective. Nowadays, peace can simply mean having a death ritual that reflects what you really want at a personal level when you celebrate your transition with family and friends.

Through the years, death rituals, including “homegoings” celebrating the "going home" of the deceased to life after death, have evolved to new heights with awe-inspiring audio and visual displays. They may include varieties of themes that showcase unique characteristics about deceased loved ones, such as their favorite sports, animals, plants, and food that would make the deceased proud. For example, a golf lover might be memorialized with decorations, services, and food centered on a golf theme. Another example would be a coffin created to look like bacon while including bacon-scented air fresheners to remind mourners that the deceased was a serious bacon lover.

Locations and procedures for death rituals have also been revised. Drive-through funeral homes similar to banks with bulletproof glass provide the opportunity for mourners and the curious to drive by or walk up from the sidewalk, view the body resting in an open casket, and sign the guestbook.

Some say that all these modern death ritual innovations trivialize death and take away from the spirituality of the occasion. Others say they customize people's feelings and include the spirit of those who have been unfastened from this life. One thing many people agree on is that relatives and friends who die should be able to have person-centered, supportive, and caring end-of-life celebrations.

That is exactly what Miriam Burbank’s commemoration gathering showcased. If she had been alive, she probably would have had a great time at her New Orleans homegoing handled by Charbonnet funeral directors. Hosting her death ritual while propped up in a chair, Miriam sat at a table in all her empowered glory holding a beer and a cigarette in her lifeless hands. Her loving family members enjoyed a festive experience in her honor. They said they knew Miriam would have wanted her send-off to be done in the special way you can view in this video:

You can read about more person-centered funerals and death rituals here:
https://hospiceandnursinghomes.blogspot.com/2012/04/drive-through-funerals-bacon-coffins.html

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog