Hospice-Palliative Volunteers Support Patients’ Social Activities

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes by Frances Shani Parker is now published in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice-palliative patients are not always able to participate in many social activities, but they should be encouraged to become involved when they can. Social interactions can improve their sense of belonging, distract them from being depressed, and bolster their independence. Sometimes they can watch from the sidelines while still expressing their opinions and creativity.

As a hospice volunteer in Detroit nursing homes for many years, I found it very rewarding being a catalyst for patient involvement at festive gatherings. The following excerpt from Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes (paperback and e-book editions) demonstrates an important role volunteers can play in supporting patients’ participation:

Richard, my hospice patient in his eighties, seemed depressed some days, as if leaving his room to spend time with others was too much of a bother. I focused on ways to help him turn his indifference inside out, even as death’s footsteps quickened down his path. After a great deal of motivating conversation, I finally convinced him to allow me to give him a wheelchair ride to a theatrical performance at the nursing home.

 “Along the way, Richard greeted other patients and staff members who were headed down the hall in the same direction. Some shuffled along with canes and walkers, while others moved with little or no assistance. Caressing her blanket, a white-haired woman with dementia told Richard she was on her way to the airport to catch a plane. A man broke out in song with “We’re Off to See the Wizard.” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes in disbelief when Richard started telling people to hurry, so we wouldn’t be late. With each turn of his wheelchair, I could feel his energy growing as we approached the big blue room, a place that made him feel good.

 Exhilaration ignited as the show started. Accompanied by the soft thunder of drumbeats, speakers shared stories and poems in praise of their elders. Residents were given small instruments to play and were coaxed to join in singing lively songs. Dances from back in the day inspired some audience members to sway in their seats. For a soul-stirring while, the nursing home disappeared. We were all transported to a fabulous planet where euphoria was our oxygen. I watched a radiant Richard wave at people he recognized, holler when the emcee gave the signal, and clap like his life depended on it. And the quality of his life really did.”

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice Volunteer-Patient Wheelchair Rides

In my book “Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes,” I discuss wheelchair rides with my hospice patients. These rides provided great bonding moments. They brought patients in contact with the outside world and provided priceless occasions for me to learn interesting facts about their pasts and their personalities. They gave patients opportunities to extend boundaries beyond their rooms to include other patients, staff, visitors, activities, stimulating sights, and sounds.

A patient named Nat had a wheelchair-riding contest with himself every time we returned to his room from outdoors. He briefly pushed his wheelchair fast to beat the door buzzer that went off when we entered from the porch. This was a race he always won. He never tired of playing this game or bragging about how fast he was every time he won, as if he had hit a home run. People sitting in the lobby began to expect that when we entered, there would be a lot of hoopla over Nat’s beating the buzzer. Laughing with triumph, he enjoyed celebrating his victory and telling everybody I was his wife. This came from a white man who initially expressed reluctance about being assigned a black volunteer.

One day outside in the parking lot, I was taken aback when a patient named Gail explained, “I lived here in this nursing home on the fifth floor for years. Look up there. That open window on the corner is where my room was. I used to look out that window and see my car. I’d walk around on all the other floors and talk to people. Everybody here knows me, except the new people.” It never occurred to me that she had been in the nursing home so many years. I thought she had come after she was diagnosed as a hospice patient. I had wondered why she was so well known on every floor. A nurse confirmed her story later. Even as her memory faded, Gail still had a living history there that tapped her on the shoulder, whispered in her ears to remind her of who she had been and what she had done as a more independent woman.

Sharing time with patients on wheelchair rides, I sometimes felt like I was watching them perform a dance of seven veils as they gradually revealed new layers of interest about themselves. And because volunteering is such a win-win experience, I also learned a lot about myself. In every way, we were dance partners.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”