African American Hospice Caregiver: Patient, Dementia Poem

With federal marshals guarding her from angry mobs in 1960, first-grader Ruby Bridges integrated William Frantz Public School in New Orleans, Louisiana, my hometown. In protest during the first year, all parents withdrew their children from the school.

Dying is universal. A hospice volunteer, I come together with my patients as strangers and often discover, even in our differences, that we share similarities that bond us to higher levels of understanding of one another and ourselves. Shared similarities can include race, language, talents, occupations, travel, values, joys and even common pain.

My book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes concludes each chapter with an original poem. I was moved to write the poem Deeper Than Words while watching my hospice patient sleep. I thought about our shared African American history that bridged our communication beyond her dementia. This poem is dedicated to Miss Loretta, Ruby Bridges and our awe-inspiring ancestors.

Deeper Than Words

The outside world arrives

wearing my willing face.

Toothless, your smile widens

like a baby’s hungry for attention.

Almost ninety-eight years old,

your inner candle still glows.

A hospice volunteer, I lean closer,

talk into your listening left ear,

“Today is Sunday, Miss Loretta.”

My news drifts away like smoke.

You stare at me through dying coals.

Whatever I ask, you whisper, “Yes.”

I stroke your age-softened arms

while your hazed mind masters sleep.

Watching you, I dream generations

of women black and strong, each one

a book of sustaining stories

about joy, pain, courage, survival.

Within your warm brown frame,

spirits from our common history linger.

Aides say you have dementia,

that you don’t know a word I say.

Our language goes deeper than words.

We speak to each other’s souls.

© Frances Shani Parker

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Caregiver-Patient Poems: Nursing Home, Long-Term Care Mealtime, Volunteer Appreciation

I fell in love with poetry at an early age. The rhythms, the messages, and the sheer creativity of finding the right words have always been fascinating to me. As a hospice volunteer in Detroit nursing homes for many years, I naturally began to record my experiences in poetic forms. These are two of my caregiver-patient poems that are published in online anthologies at other websites.  I’ve given you the first few lines. Click the two publication links below to read my complete poems and offerings by other writers.

Mealtimes in long-term care and other older adult facilitites mean nourishment for residents’ bodies and minds. They are wonderful opportunities for caregiver and patient to share time together, sometimes ending with a special treat.

Sweet Treat

By Frances Shani Parker

A wisp of a woman, she waits

eagerly for her dinner tray.

I hide her magic ice cream cup

that makes other foods invisible.

Each mouthful of nutrition

adds time to her aging clock.

“Is this my ice cream?” she asks
before I feed her meatloaf.
She chews slowly, searches
for the missing sweetness.

Read the complete poem at The Barefoot Review.

Volunteering with terminally ill patients in a nursing home comes with unique challenges, especially when the patient and volunteer have difficulty communicating. Solving problems, realizing personal growth, and enjoying patient appreciation make service a very rewarding experience.

Victory

By Frances Shani Parker

His weary, tucked-in body
lies in a nursing home bed.
A black Gandhi, he yearns for peace.
His days are chains of mountains
formed by pressures of frustration.

I approach him like a helpless child,
wonder how to lift his spirits.
Eyes that have seen ninety years
squint tightly as daggers of pain
pierce his cancerous form.

Read the complete poem at The Survivor's Review.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog