I had been waiting to view “Young@Heart” for several weeks. I heard it was an excellent documentary about a spirited chorus of music-loving senior citizens. Averaging eighty years in age, they thrill worldwide audiences everywhere they perform, including in prison. In the movie, viewers accompany them during a series of rehearsals in preparation for an upcoming show.
Unfamiliar with punk or rock and roll music, chorus members struggle to sing new songs, while dealing with personal challenges and the death of two members during one week. Somehow they squeeze sweetness from every moment with friendship and commitment. Songs like “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” “I Feel Good,” and “Fix You,” the hands-down tearjerker of the day, wrap us in nostalgia, strengthen us with wisdom, and warm us with the creative power of music.
Their bodies may be old, but their hearts are wrinkle-free. Should you stay or should you go? Go. Experience these seniors' moving transformation and your own. Be inspired and entertained by this amazing tribute to aging, life, and death. View the "Young@Heart” movie trailer here.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Hospice Volunteer and Nursing Home Poem: Staff Shortage ("Living Colors")
A previous post dealt with the widespread vision problems of residents in nursing homes and the negative impact poor eyesight has in patients’ lives. Many of these vision problems could be corrected if residents regularly received basic eye care.
This poem was inspired by one of my elderly hospice patients who had dementia and poor eyesight. She needed assistance to eat, but there was a staff shortage at the nursing home that day. Using her fingers, she started feeding herself. I arrived to find her with food smeared around her mouth. After wondering what that experience might have been like for her, I wrote this poem:
Living Colors
A nursing home room
serves as your dining place.
Colors on a supper plate
charm century-old eyes.
Green, brown, white form
an aromatic rainbow
of bygone days that nourish,
thrill you with their stories.
When no one helps you eat,
you reach with forklike fingers.
Green tastes like memories
of grass tickling childhood toes.
Taste buds savor brownness
of a mahogany man who
hungered for your love.
Handfuls of August clouds
whisk you to a picnic,
hint at mashed potatoes.
A volunteer, I arrive to see
your smile smeared with dreams.
Each morsel of remembrance
has fed your starving mind.
Anchored in reality of meals
with special meanings,
your appetite is satisfied
with colors from the past.
© Frances Shani Parker
You can hear me read "Living Colors" with graphics on YouTube.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Hospice Volunteer and Nursing Home Story: Dying to Die (Video 4:28 mins.)
This post includes an excerpt from my book, "Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.”
Are you ready to die? It’s something we all will do. Each person has a choice about how to respond to the inevitable. Many people assume that nobody really wants to die, but I have known several hospice patients who looked forward to death. Take Bella (pseudonym), for instance. She said she was all ready to go to heaven, but she kept putting it off because she wanted her death ritual and other plans to be just right.
“I won’t be here when you come next week. I’ll be in heaven. You can call ahead if you want to be sure I’m not here. That way you won’t make a trip for nothing,” she warned me.
“Thanks for telling me, Bella. I’ll just come anyway and see for myself,” I responded like it was the most normal thing in the world. In recent weeks, whenever I left from visiting her, Bella said it was the last time I would see her. She said she would be dead before I returned the following week.
When I returned and she was still alive, I’d say, “Well I guess you changed your mind about dying this week.” Bella always had a good excuse. Sometimes she didn’t want to miss some festive activity like the annual Christmas party at the nursing home. But most times, it was for practical reasons like getting funeral, burial, and other after-death plans in order. She wanted her children to clean her house thoroughly, so relatives and friends could go there to fellowship after her funeral. Cleaning entailed sorting and packing clothes for charity. There were several other tasks beyond actual dirt removal. Her various excuses for not dying continued for months.
Bella even invited me to join her on her death journey. She said it might be more fun if we went to heaven together. I declined this invitation by explaining it just wasn’t my time. Besides, she already had a bunch of people there waiting for her.
But one day, Bella’s warning came true. I received the hospice phone call saying she had died. I smiled to myself and said, “Good for you, Bella! You finally did it!"
What about you? Are you having death conversations that will help you and others prepare for death? Do you think about what death really means to you as a patient, a caregiving relative, or a healthcare professional? This video encourages us to have more of these conversations and prepare for our own and others’ deaths. Using the “D” word is long overdue.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Are you ready to die? It’s something we all will do. Each person has a choice about how to respond to the inevitable. Many people assume that nobody really wants to die, but I have known several hospice patients who looked forward to death. Take Bella (pseudonym), for instance. She said she was all ready to go to heaven, but she kept putting it off because she wanted her death ritual and other plans to be just right.
“I won’t be here when you come next week. I’ll be in heaven. You can call ahead if you want to be sure I’m not here. That way you won’t make a trip for nothing,” she warned me.
“Thanks for telling me, Bella. I’ll just come anyway and see for myself,” I responded like it was the most normal thing in the world. In recent weeks, whenever I left from visiting her, Bella said it was the last time I would see her. She said she would be dead before I returned the following week.
When I returned and she was still alive, I’d say, “Well I guess you changed your mind about dying this week.” Bella always had a good excuse. Sometimes she didn’t want to miss some festive activity like the annual Christmas party at the nursing home. But most times, it was for practical reasons like getting funeral, burial, and other after-death plans in order. She wanted her children to clean her house thoroughly, so relatives and friends could go there to fellowship after her funeral. Cleaning entailed sorting and packing clothes for charity. There were several other tasks beyond actual dirt removal. Her various excuses for not dying continued for months.
Bella even invited me to join her on her death journey. She said it might be more fun if we went to heaven together. I declined this invitation by explaining it just wasn’t my time. Besides, she already had a bunch of people there waiting for her.
But one day, Bella’s warning came true. I received the hospice phone call saying she had died. I smiled to myself and said, “Good for you, Bella! You finally did it!"
What about you? Are you having death conversations that will help you and others prepare for death? Do you think about what death really means to you as a patient, a caregiving relative, or a healthcare professional? This video encourages us to have more of these conversations and prepare for our own and others’ deaths. Using the “D” word is long overdue.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Nursing Home Culture Change: The Green House Project (Video 7:33 mins.)
What makes a nursing home really feel like home? That’s a major theme for culture change in nursing homes. Think about how you live in your own homes, and it’s easy to figure out what most nursing home residents want. Cedars Nursing Home in Tupelo, Mississippi is a Green House Project alternative to traditional nursing home living that has put the “home” back in nursing home.
With the intention of developing Green House homes with long-term care organizations around the country, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation provides grant funding for the Green House model on a national level. At the Green House Project, life in a traditional nursing home has been reinvented. Residents, living in cottages of ten, thrive as families in homes built to blend in with the neighborhood. They add their personal decorating touches, greet the day when they feel like it, plan menus, and eat with the staff. Mealtimes prepared in an open kitchen are unhurried and socially rewarding.
Each elder has a private room and bath with easy access to all areas of the home. Nursing assistants (CNA’s), referred to as “shahbazes” focus on nurturing, sustaining, and protecting residents. Assistance residents receive doesn’t interfere with their independence. View this video of a Green House Project home where home really is sweet.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
With the intention of developing Green House homes with long-term care organizations around the country, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation provides grant funding for the Green House model on a national level. At the Green House Project, life in a traditional nursing home has been reinvented. Residents, living in cottages of ten, thrive as families in homes built to blend in with the neighborhood. They add their personal decorating touches, greet the day when they feel like it, plan menus, and eat with the staff. Mealtimes prepared in an open kitchen are unhurried and socially rewarding.
Each elder has a private room and bath with easy access to all areas of the home. Nursing assistants (CNA’s), referred to as “shahbazes” focus on nurturing, sustaining, and protecting residents. Assistance residents receive doesn’t interfere with their independence. View this video of a Green House Project home where home really is sweet.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Hospice and Palliative Care: Veterans and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD (Video 7:41 mins.)
“Did you see my flag on the side of the bed?” Nat asked me one day.
I looked again at his small American flag taped to the bed railing and responded, “Yes, I noticed it the first day I came. It’s always there on your bed. I can tell you like it.”
“I fought in a war years ago. Gave the best I could give. I’ve seen and done things you couldn’t imagine. Some of them were horrible, I mean really horrible. Don’t ask me to tell you what they were, because I can’t talk about it. They say time heals all wounds, but it’s a lie. I left Viet Nam, but Viet Nam never left me. I carry it with me everywhere I go. All these years later, I still have nightmares like you wouldn’t believe. The doctor says it’s post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. I wake up shaking, gasping for breath with tears in my eyes. In my dreams, I’m always running hard, trying to escape. Sometimes my enemies are close enough for me to touch. I almost stop breathing to keep them from hearing me. I’m constantly thinking I’m not going to make it. Some nights they kill me before I wake up. My dreams are so raw, so real they turn my soul inside out. In real life, I came back alive. A lot of people who served, some of them my friends, didn’t come back. That’s why I keep that flag there all the time. It’s out of respect for those who came back in body bags; it’s for those still struggling with physical and mental injuries. It’s the least I can do for them.”
Nat is like many men and women who have served our country during World War II and wars in Korea, Viet Nam, and Iraq. He suffers with repressed fear and sadness resulting from his war experiences. Hospice and palliative care for veterans, like the Hospice of the Western Reserve in Cleveland, Ohio, includes healing opportunities for patients to express feelings they have stored inside for years. Veterans and their families receive post-traumatic stress disorder education and support. Patients are often paired with volunteers who are also veterans. Being able to “let go” of the horrific burdens of PTSD is important at any time, but especially for closure during the final phases of life.
In this video titled “Welcome Home,” veterans share some of their agonizing service memories, including burial at sea.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A
Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes
is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries
and in e-book form at
Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Alzheimer’s Disease and Hospice Volunteering in Nursing Homes (Video 3:10 mins.)
The following includes an excerpt from my book "Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.” This chapter titled “Mealtime Gathering” explores Alzheimer’s disease and patients’ mealtime interactions at an inner-city nursing home experiencing a staff shortage. I am seated at a table with several patients, most in varying stages of dementia. Alzheimer's disease is the most common form of dementia. Fictitious names are used.
“Some patients were confused about which utensils to use. They tried to eat soup with a fork if they were not guided to a spoon. For a few, the tray of food was more like a tray of colors that smelled like food. Sometimes with pureed food, they had no idea what they were eating, and neither did I. Fortunately, a menu came with each tray. At another nursing home, I had observed a nurse aide telling a blind patient everything on his plate when she sat his tray in front of him. He grinned with delight the whole time she went down the list of foods. That’s why I started telling my hospice patients what was on their plates. Even those who could see didn’t always know what was there.
I continued talking to Naomi, my hospice patient, and assisting her while monitoring others at the table. I noticed that Petra had not touched anything. Petra was not a very independent eater, but I knew she was physically capable of feeding herself.
“Petra, your food is just sitting there getting cold. You have a whole tray of delicious things to eat. You should eat some and see how good it is. You’re a good eater. Eat your food.”
“Food? What food? I don’t have none.”
“The food on this tray is all for you, Petra. This is your food tray right in front of you. Watch me point to each item. You have coffee, juice, milk, mashed potatoes, fish, broccoli, bread, and fruit. That’s your name spelled P-e-t-r-a.”
“That’s not my name. My name is Petra. That’s somebody else’s name. That’s not my name. I know my name.”
“Well, that is still your food on the tray. You should eat before it gets cold. Go ahead and eat. Give it a try.”
“Eat? Eat what?”
“Your food, Petra, your fish, potatoes, and everything else.”
“Fish? What fish? I don’t have none. Do you see a fish here? I don’t see a fish. I don’t have none.”
From previous experience, I knew that Petra and I could go on roaming forever around this same circle. Luckily, she was sitting next to me. I gave her a taste of the fish because I knew she liked it. Then I placed her fork in her hand and started her off eating. I did this in steps by steering her hand and giving her directions on putting food into her mouth, chewing, and swallowing. Patients with dementia needed tasks broken into simple steps. Usually, she ate for a while by herself, even with her hands, once somebody started her off. Without any help, she sat and looked at the food she said was not there. My other hand continued to assist Naomi.”
© Frances Shani Parker
This video explores stages of Alzheimer’s disease.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
“Some patients were confused about which utensils to use. They tried to eat soup with a fork if they were not guided to a spoon. For a few, the tray of food was more like a tray of colors that smelled like food. Sometimes with pureed food, they had no idea what they were eating, and neither did I. Fortunately, a menu came with each tray. At another nursing home, I had observed a nurse aide telling a blind patient everything on his plate when she sat his tray in front of him. He grinned with delight the whole time she went down the list of foods. That’s why I started telling my hospice patients what was on their plates. Even those who could see didn’t always know what was there.
I continued talking to Naomi, my hospice patient, and assisting her while monitoring others at the table. I noticed that Petra had not touched anything. Petra was not a very independent eater, but I knew she was physically capable of feeding herself.
“Petra, your food is just sitting there getting cold. You have a whole tray of delicious things to eat. You should eat some and see how good it is. You’re a good eater. Eat your food.”
“Food? What food? I don’t have none.”
“The food on this tray is all for you, Petra. This is your food tray right in front of you. Watch me point to each item. You have coffee, juice, milk, mashed potatoes, fish, broccoli, bread, and fruit. That’s your name spelled P-e-t-r-a.”
“That’s not my name. My name is Petra. That’s somebody else’s name. That’s not my name. I know my name.”
“Well, that is still your food on the tray. You should eat before it gets cold. Go ahead and eat. Give it a try.”
“Eat? Eat what?”
“Your food, Petra, your fish, potatoes, and everything else.”
“Fish? What fish? I don’t have none. Do you see a fish here? I don’t see a fish. I don’t have none.”
From previous experience, I knew that Petra and I could go on roaming forever around this same circle. Luckily, she was sitting next to me. I gave her a taste of the fish because I knew she liked it. Then I placed her fork in her hand and started her off eating. I did this in steps by steering her hand and giving her directions on putting food into her mouth, chewing, and swallowing. Patients with dementia needed tasks broken into simple steps. Usually, she ate for a while by herself, even with her hands, once somebody started her off. Without any help, she sat and looked at the food she said was not there. My other hand continued to assist Naomi.”
© Frances Shani Parker
This video explores stages of Alzheimer’s disease.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wii Rehab in Nursing Homes: Physical Therapy Technology for Seniors (Audio: 3:32 mins.)
The popularity of Nintendo Wii games continues to grow in senior citizen communities. Some physical therapists have finally decided to ride that winning Wii horse, too. Wii is being used to help patients recovering from stroke or closed-head injuries. Patients can have energetic fun while going through the motions of actually playing a variety of sports that will help them heal.
At Stratford Village in Midland, MI, residents with wheelchairs and walkers can participate in various Wii challenges. The handheld “Wii-mote” is used to simulate body movements of actual sports. One 87 year old, who was working on her upper body strength, beat her own son after three rounds in a virtual boxing ring. When no human partners are around, residents can play Wii by competing against the computer.
Where is all this enthusiasm for Wii going? Nobody knows. The American Physical Therapy Association wants more research to prove just how effective Wii really is for rehab purposes. In the meantime, you can listen to an audio NPR.org. account of how therapists look to Wii games for rehab benefits. At last, couch potatoes can show how athletic they really are.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”
At Stratford Village in Midland, MI, residents with wheelchairs and walkers can participate in various Wii challenges. The handheld “Wii-mote” is used to simulate body movements of actual sports. One 87 year old, who was working on her upper body strength, beat her own son after three rounds in a virtual boxing ring. When no human partners are around, residents can play Wii by competing against the computer.
Where is all this enthusiasm for Wii going? Nobody knows. The American Physical Therapy Association wants more research to prove just how effective Wii really is for rehab purposes. In the meantime, you can listen to an audio NPR.org. account of how therapists look to Wii games for rehab benefits. At last, couch potatoes can show how athletic they really are.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Detroit Hospice Volunteer Interview (Podcast) with Frances Shani Parker: Patient Advocacy, Nursing Homes, Acceptance of Death
You can listen to this Detroit Today podcast interview hosted by Craig Fahle at WDET 101.9 FM Radio.
The following conversation is from Becoming Dead Right. It is an example of a hospice patient’s acceptance of death that I refer to in the Detroit radio interview above. The patient is having this discussion with me:
“How old did you tell me I was?”
“You’re ninety-nine, and you’ll be a hundred years old on your next birthday.”
“A hundred years old is too old. I don’t think I want to be that old.”
“There are three other ladies in this nursing home who are older than that. One is a hundred three. We talked to her last week during your wheelchair ride.”
“How much longer will it be before I make a hundred? I don’t know if I want to wait too much longer.”
“It’s only one more month. I remember you said you had spiritual talks with your minister. If you decide to wait, I’ll get you a big balloon that looks like a birthday cake.”
“I guess I could wait. Yes, I think I will wait. That way I can celebrate my hundredth birthday. When I do get to heaven, I can tell everybody I lived to be one hundred.” And that’s exactly what she did.
Praise for Frances Shani Parker's book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes from Roger Woodruff, Director of Palliative Care, International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care, Austin Health, Melbourne, Australia
"A school principal turned hospice volunteer, Frances Shani Parker relates her experiences with dying people in nursing homes. The second part of the book is about what we as individuals and as a society must do to improve things for those who are dying. I particularly enjoyed the guided tour, conducted from a wheelchair, of Baby Boomer Haven."
“How old did you tell me I was?”
“You’re ninety-nine, and you’ll be a hundred years old on your next birthday.”
“A hundred years old is too old. I don’t think I want to be that old.”
“There are three other ladies in this nursing home who are older than that. One is a hundred three. We talked to her last week during your wheelchair ride.”
“How much longer will it be before I make a hundred? I don’t know if I want to wait too much longer.”
“It’s only one more month. I remember you said you had spiritual talks with your minister. If you decide to wait, I’ll get you a big balloon that looks like a birthday cake.”
“I guess I could wait. Yes, I think I will wait. That way I can celebrate my hundredth birthday. When I do get to heaven, I can tell everybody I lived to be one hundred.” And that’s exactly what she did.
Praise for Frances Shani Parker's book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes from Roger Woodruff, Director of Palliative Care, International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care, Austin Health, Melbourne, Australia
"A school principal turned hospice volunteer, Frances Shani Parker relates her experiences with dying people in nursing homes. The second part of the book is about what we as individuals and as a society must do to improve things for those who are dying. I particularly enjoyed the guided tour, conducted from a wheelchair, of Baby Boomer Haven."
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Brain Atrophy of Elderly in Nursing Homes: Racism, Social Inappropriateness, Depression, and Problem Gambling
An African American, I have experienced racism my entire life. A child raised in the Jim Crow South, I was reminded every day of my unimportance. Up North in Michigan, I live in one of the most segregated states in America. The continuing documentation of racial-ethnic healthcare disparities in America speaks for itself.
I wasn’t surprised at all when several African American nursing assistants (CNA’s) I spoke to at nursing homes in both Michigan and Massachusetts complained about being targets of racist comments by their elderly white patients. What was interesting in a few instances was that the comments were overheard by the patients’ relatives who said they were shocked after hearing them. Some relatives even apologized to the nursing assistants for the behavior of the patients. According to these relatives, they had never heard the patients make racist statements during all the years they had known them.
These incidents came to mind when I read this research from “Current Directions in Psychological Science” about brain atrophy, which is a gradual shrinking of the brain that includes significant atrophy in the frontal lobes where executive functioning occurs. The study reports that the results of this atrophy include decreased inhibitory ability in late adulthood that can lead to unintended prejudice, social inappropriateness (such as publicly asking personal questions), depression, and problem gambling. University of Queensland psychologist Bill von Hippel explains that older white adults showed greater stereotyping toward African Americans than younger white adults did. Despite being more motivated to control their prejudices, older whites’ attempts to inhibit their prejudices failed.
The study proposes that some of the negative social behaviors attributed to the elderly may be resulting from their loss of inhibition. You can read more about this research on brain atrophy in the elderly at the “Medical News Today” website.
Note: A study from the Buehler Center on Aging at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine states that nearly 75 percent of nursing assistants (CNA’s) working in nursing homes experience racism on the job. This research showed that racism is expressed by nursing home residents as well as residents' families and nursing home co-workers.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
I wasn’t surprised at all when several African American nursing assistants (CNA’s) I spoke to at nursing homes in both Michigan and Massachusetts complained about being targets of racist comments by their elderly white patients. What was interesting in a few instances was that the comments were overheard by the patients’ relatives who said they were shocked after hearing them. Some relatives even apologized to the nursing assistants for the behavior of the patients. According to these relatives, they had never heard the patients make racist statements during all the years they had known them.
These incidents came to mind when I read this research from “Current Directions in Psychological Science” about brain atrophy, which is a gradual shrinking of the brain that includes significant atrophy in the frontal lobes where executive functioning occurs. The study reports that the results of this atrophy include decreased inhibitory ability in late adulthood that can lead to unintended prejudice, social inappropriateness (such as publicly asking personal questions), depression, and problem gambling. University of Queensland psychologist Bill von Hippel explains that older white adults showed greater stereotyping toward African Americans than younger white adults did. Despite being more motivated to control their prejudices, older whites’ attempts to inhibit their prejudices failed.
The study proposes that some of the negative social behaviors attributed to the elderly may be resulting from their loss of inhibition. You can read more about this research on brain atrophy in the elderly at the “Medical News Today” website.
Note: A study from the Buehler Center on Aging at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine states that nearly 75 percent of nursing assistants (CNA’s) working in nursing homes experience racism on the job. This research showed that racism is expressed by nursing home residents as well as residents' families and nursing home co-workers.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Spirituality and Elderly, Black, Hurricane Katrina Survivors
I was reminded of this when I read some research about older, black, Katrina survivors. New Orleans is my hometown, and I am particularly concerned about the slow recovery progress, which I witnessed firsthand again during a recent visit there. As I stated in previous posts, elderly residents who have remained in New Orleans or who have evacuated across the country have often experienced difficult adjustments.
The research I read explored coping strategies of these older evacuees living at a retirement apartment complex in Texas. The study states, “Without exception, the findings indicate that this population coped with Katrina and its aftermath through reliance on a Higher Power.” It explains further that the relationship with a Higher Power was not necessarily connected with church membership. This is important because many people who are spiritual are not religious in the church-going sense.
These are the spiritual coping themes that resulted from a series of interviews with these older Katrina survivors:
“1) regular communication with a supernatural power; 2) miracles of faith through this source of guidance and protection; 3) daily reading of the Bible and various spiritual and devotional materials; and 4) helping others as a consequence of faith and devotion to a supreme being.” During traumatic times, spirituality clearly promotes emotional resilience for many.
You can read more about this University of North Texas study at this website.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Perspectives on Dying from Hospice Patients and Healthcare Professionals: (Video 4:28 mins.)
A research study by the University of Georgia Institute of Gerontology focused on end-of-life preparations and preferences of elders and adult children of elders. Interviews were held with the two groups. The study determined that barriers to discussions about end-of-life preparation and preferences were fear of death, trust in others to make decisions, family dynamics, and uncertainty about preferences. Factors that promoted these discussions were acceptance of the reality of death, prior experience with death, religion or spirituality, and a desire to help the family.
Casually approaching end-of life discussions and creating written records of preparation and preferences were considered successful strategies for expanding communication on this sensitive topic. Knowing good solutions to overcome obstacles and promote these discussions can assist healthcare professionals in encouraging elders and their families in planning ahead.
What are the needs of the dying? How can the end of life be integrated as a natural and sacred human process? This video titled “Solace: Wisdom of the Dying” presents perspectives on dying from hospice patients and healthcare professionals.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Hospice Volunteer Inmates in Louisiana Prison (Video 4:17 mins.)
When you think about prison, what usually comes to mind? You probably imagine depression, fear, violence, and razorwire fences. And you would be right, but not completely. One example of expressed compassion in prison is demonstrated in the caregiving of inmate hospice volunteers who serve terminally ill inmates.
These volunteers provide comfort that may be missing in the lives of some prisoners, especially those who no longer have attentive relationships beyond prison walls. Many serving life sentences, including some volunteers, know they will die in confinement. Nurturing support given by familiar faces of those who have also experienced the prison system can enhance prisoners’ quality of life during the dying process.
This video titled “Will Anybody Cry When I Die?” shows hospice inmates helping a fellow prisoner during his end-of-life journey at the Louisiana State Penitentiary in Angola, Louisiana. Later, they prepare and honor him with a death ritual. Watching this video, you might find yourself feeling distant from negative aspects commonly associated with prison life. You might be feeling the love.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
These volunteers provide comfort that may be missing in the lives of some prisoners, especially those who no longer have attentive relationships beyond prison walls. Many serving life sentences, including some volunteers, know they will die in confinement. Nurturing support given by familiar faces of those who have also experienced the prison system can enhance prisoners’ quality of life during the dying process.
This video titled “Will Anybody Cry When I Die?” shows hospice inmates helping a fellow prisoner during his end-of-life journey at the Louisiana State Penitentiary in Angola, Louisiana. Later, they prepare and honor him with a death ritual. Watching this video, you might find yourself feeling distant from negative aspects commonly associated with prison life. You might be feeling the love.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Friday, February 1, 2008
Hospice and Nursing Home Story: Patient's Life Review (Video 4:25 mins.)
Jackie (pseudonym), a talkative patient with a sharp mind, was glad she could still remember what had happened in her life and eager to tell me her story. During several visits, she answered a series of questions that I recorded on tape and transcribed later. Her story started with descriptions of her parents, their values, and their impact on her life. Later, she included memories of her siblings and incidents that happened to her over eighty years ago.
Speaking with a knowing that only comes with age, she told me about happy times that drenched her with joy, and heartbreaking struggles that drowned her in misery. When she spoke about being hospitalized years ago due to physical abuse by a former husband, I reminded her that others would read the information in her booklet. She responded that her husband’s maltreatment of her was common knowledge. Her family and friends had advised her often to divorce him. “I’m proud now that I finally left with my children and started a better life,” she added smiling. The most important life message she wanted to leave was the truth of her experience.
This video, titled "Hello in There," reminds us that there’s a special story inside each person. Be sure to wait for words accompanying the music.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Nurses and Nurse Assistants (CNA’s): Stress in Nursing Homes
Nurses:
The situations most stressful for nurses were not having enough staff, having too much work to do, interruptions, having non-health professionals determine how they do their jobs, poor pay, and being responsible for patients' outcomes. Nurses were more likely than nurse assistants to report stress because non-health professionals (e.g. surveyors) determine how they must perform their services.
Nurse Assistants (CNA’s):
The most stressful situations for nurse assistants included poor pay, not enough staff, and too much work to do. Nurse assistants were more likely than nurses to report stress because they do not have adequate information regarding patients' conditions.
Conclusions:
The findings of this study support the need to increase recognition for nursing, improve staffing, and provide competitive compensation in nursing homes. Were you surprised by these results? I wasn’t either. But it’s still another validation of the staff stress problems and the need for positive changes in nursing home reform.
You can read more about this research in the "Journal of the American Medical Directors Association.”
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Hospice Team: Jewish Funeral Practices (Video 4:15 mins.)
Being aware of various cultural and religious traditions in our diverse society is especially important for hospice workers because we are often invited to attend rituals such as funerals of deceased patients. Families appreciate sensitivity and respect regarding practices they embrace. However, even within various cultures and religions, there are differences, so asking family members questions is far better than making assumptions or creating stereotypes about large groups of people.
The first time I attended a Jewish funeral, I was surprised by how different it was from Christian funerals I had experienced. The casket was closed; there were no flowers; the service was short and simple. I welcomed the new ritual and asked questions about procedures I didn’t understand. After I became a hospice volunteer, I benefited from the knowledge gained at that Jewish service and services of other groups.
These are some examples and explanations regarding Jewish funerals:
1) The casket is closed out of respect for the deceased.
2) Embalming and cremation are not allowed, so the body can deteriorate naturally.
3) Flowers are not killed to honor someone who has died.
4) Burial takes place soon out of respect for the deceased.
This video titled Jewish Funeral Practices 101 gives a detailed description of Jewish funeral practices.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
The first time I attended a Jewish funeral, I was surprised by how different it was from Christian funerals I had experienced. The casket was closed; there were no flowers; the service was short and simple. I welcomed the new ritual and asked questions about procedures I didn’t understand. After I became a hospice volunteer, I benefited from the knowledge gained at that Jewish service and services of other groups.
These are some examples and explanations regarding Jewish funerals:
1) The casket is closed out of respect for the deceased.
2) Embalming and cremation are not allowed, so the body can deteriorate naturally.
3) Flowers are not killed to honor someone who has died.
4) Burial takes place soon out of respect for the deceased.
This video titled Jewish Funeral Practices 101 gives a detailed description of Jewish funeral practices.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Monday, January 14, 2008
“The Bucket List” Movie: A Hospice Nursing Home Volunteer’s Review (Video Trailer 2:28 mins.)
All these years, we’ve joked about “kicking the bucket,” and now we learn there’s a list inside the bucket. “The Bucket List” is a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as terminally ill cancer patients. They meet as strangers with seemingly nothing in common, except a hospital room they share. Gradually, they bond and commit to leaving the hospital in order to accomplish adventurous goals on their bucket list. Fortunately, Nicholson’s character is a billionaire who can foot the globetrotting bills. With only months to live, the two men forge a special friendship through laughter and tears. They savor some of life’s final thrills by skydiving, racing cars, and visiting world wonders.
That’s a summary of the movie I saw today while enjoying my “kiddie pack” refreshments. What the summary doesn't mention is that the movie nudges audiences into thoughts of personal end-of-life journeys, that it helps them unravel philosophical lessons they tend to ignore, that it attracts people in large numbers in spite of critics who pan it. There are those who snicker with condescension and label "The Bucket List” a feel-good movie about death and mortality. A hospice volunteer, I smile, just thinking what a compliment that is.
What’s on your bucket list?
That’s a summary of the movie I saw today while enjoying my “kiddie pack” refreshments. What the summary doesn't mention is that the movie nudges audiences into thoughts of personal end-of-life journeys, that it helps them unravel philosophical lessons they tend to ignore, that it attracts people in large numbers in spite of critics who pan it. There are those who snicker with condescension and label "The Bucket List” a feel-good movie about death and mortality. A hospice volunteer, I smile, just thinking what a compliment that is.
What’s on your bucket list?
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Therapy Dogs and Cats Improve Human Health (Video 2:37 mins.)
Slowly, my friend made progress, but she missed her dog a lot. The picture with this post shows their happy reunion the day I brought her dog to visit. I also noticed the heightened joy of many staff members when they interacted with the dog. His presence brought many smiles.
I didn’t need research to tell me that some healing had taken place, but it’s good to know that the results of positive exchanges between pets and people are scientifically measurable. The American Heart Association verifies that heart failure patients who spent 12 minutes with a dog or cat had lower stress hormones and blood pressure levels.
Pets are being certified to improve patients’ health in nursing homes and hospitals. Pets’ many contributions include helping stroke survivors with physical therapy and assisting mentally disabled patients in learning chores. It doesn’t matter what breed the pets are, as long as they have sound temperaments and can pass the AKC Canine Good Citizen Test. Thousands of dogs and smaller numbers of cats serve as therapy pets. They seem to know instinctively that they are there to help patients. And this video shows that’s exactly what they do.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Nursing Homes and Hospice Organizations, How Can Students Serve You?
Note: Winner of the National Service-Learning Partnership Trailblazer Award, Frances Shani Parker, a national consultant and former schoolwide service-learning principal, has been instrumental in implementing service-learning in school districts across the country. Her book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes includes a chapter on intergenerational partnerships between schools and nursing homes.
Nursing homes and hospice organizations, how can students serve you, at your locations or elsewhere, under the supervision of their teachers or service coordinators? Service-learning is a teaching and learning approach that connects classroom learning with meeting community needs. For example, after learning how to write letters, students extend that learning into the community by writing real letters to nursing home residents, if that meets a need at that nursing home. Everyone involved benefits from the experience. As a former school principal of an urban public school with all 600 students involved in service-learning, I know how successful this approach can be.
Hospice organizations, most students have no idea what hospice is or the role students (K-college) can play in supporting you in the office or elsewhere. This kind of early hospice involvement with young people will do a lot to promote hospice on a long-term basis. While student involvement in nursing homes is more well known, perhaps the kinds of involvement can be extended. This is how students are introduced early to healthcare career choices in fields that have serious staff shortages today.
So, what are your needs? These are the grade-level categories to consider:
Elementary School, Middle School, High School, and College
If you would leave me a few comments stating what students in any or all these grade-level categories can do that would meet needs of nursing homes or hospice organizations, I will compile this information and pass it on to teachers and service coordinators I consult with across the country. Please state the grade-level categories and the service students can perform.
This is a sample response that you can write at the bottom of this post on the right. Just click "Comments" (next to the pencil).
1) Your Name or Name of Organization, City/State (all optional)
2) Grade-Level Category (elementary school, middle school, high school, college) You can choose more than one category.
3) Student Service Activities:
We need students to provide these services:
1)____________________________________________
2)____________________________________________
Thank you for your participation in supporting service-learning partnerships. There is a chapter on school partnerships and nursing homes in my book,Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.You can also read more about service-learning at this previous post titled “Service Learning and Nursing Homes: Intergenerational Partnerships.”
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Nursing homes and hospice organizations, how can students serve you, at your locations or elsewhere, under the supervision of their teachers or service coordinators? Service-learning is a teaching and learning approach that connects classroom learning with meeting community needs. For example, after learning how to write letters, students extend that learning into the community by writing real letters to nursing home residents, if that meets a need at that nursing home. Everyone involved benefits from the experience. As a former school principal of an urban public school with all 600 students involved in service-learning, I know how successful this approach can be.
Hospice organizations, most students have no idea what hospice is or the role students (K-college) can play in supporting you in the office or elsewhere. This kind of early hospice involvement with young people will do a lot to promote hospice on a long-term basis. While student involvement in nursing homes is more well known, perhaps the kinds of involvement can be extended. This is how students are introduced early to healthcare career choices in fields that have serious staff shortages today.
So, what are your needs? These are the grade-level categories to consider:
Elementary School, Middle School, High School, and College
If you would leave me a few comments stating what students in any or all these grade-level categories can do that would meet needs of nursing homes or hospice organizations, I will compile this information and pass it on to teachers and service coordinators I consult with across the country. Please state the grade-level categories and the service students can perform.
This is a sample response that you can write at the bottom of this post on the right. Just click "Comments" (next to the pencil).
1) Your Name or Name of Organization, City/State (all optional)
2) Grade-Level Category (elementary school, middle school, high school, college) You can choose more than one category.
3) Student Service Activities:
We need students to provide these services:
1)____________________________________________
2)____________________________________________
Thank you for your participation in supporting service-learning partnerships. There is a chapter on school partnerships and nursing homes in my book,Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.You can also read more about service-learning at this previous post titled “Service Learning and Nursing Homes: Intergenerational Partnerships.”
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Latinos, African Americans, and Alzheimer’s Disease (Audio 5:55 mins.)
According to a study reported in “Neurology®,”
Latinos and African Americans with Alzheimer's disease live longer than Caucasians who have the disease. Variables such as education level, age when symptoms began, living situation, and other factors that could affect how long the study participants lived did not change the results. The study involved about 31,000 people who had Alzheimer’s disease.
Latino participants lived about 40 percent longer than Caucasian participants, and African American participants lived 15 percent longer than Caucasians. Asian and American Indian participants lived about as long as Caucasians. Author of the study, Kala Mehta, DSc, said, "Possible explanations may be underlying genetic or cultural factors." Other possible factors were varying levels of social support from extended family, varying levels of health and diseases in addition to Alzheimer's disease, varying levels of treatment of other diseases, and differences in measurement or earlier diagnosis in some groups. Another factor could be length of stay in the United States. These findings can impact healthcare planning of Alzheimer’s disease.
You can hear more about Alzheimer’s disease and treatment, including additional information about African Americans, at this NPR.org. website.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Latinos and African Americans with Alzheimer's disease live longer than Caucasians who have the disease. Variables such as education level, age when symptoms began, living situation, and other factors that could affect how long the study participants lived did not change the results. The study involved about 31,000 people who had Alzheimer’s disease.
Latino participants lived about 40 percent longer than Caucasian participants, and African American participants lived 15 percent longer than Caucasians. Asian and American Indian participants lived about as long as Caucasians. Author of the study, Kala Mehta, DSc, said, "Possible explanations may be underlying genetic or cultural factors." Other possible factors were varying levels of social support from extended family, varying levels of health and diseases in addition to Alzheimer's disease, varying levels of treatment of other diseases, and differences in measurement or earlier diagnosis in some groups. Another factor could be length of stay in the United States. These findings can impact healthcare planning of Alzheimer’s disease.
You can hear more about Alzheimer’s disease and treatment, including additional information about African Americans, at this NPR.org. website.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Culture Change: Transformation of Four Nursing Homes (Video: 5:16 mins.)
The following includes an excerpt from my book, "Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.” Baby Boomer Haven refers to an imaginary nursing home based on best practices of some, but not nearly enough nursing homes that exist today.
“Welcome to Baby Boomer Haven! It’s a treasure to have you. My name is Ruth, and I’ll be your tour guide today. The first thing you need to know about our nursing home is that it’s real for some, but imaginary for too many others. Everything we enjoy here already exists in nursing homes scattered throughout America, but not in nearly enough. We’re having this tour today, so you can become familiar with possibilities that all nursing home residents should be experiencing, no matter where they are located.
When baby boomers seeking institutional healthcare show up in the millions, nursing homes like ours should be ready to receive them with welcoming lights shining in every window. Now, more than ever, nursing homes should be focused on ongoing state-of-the-art improvements. The comfortable life we live is as close as society’s handshake with commitment to quality healthcare, particularly for the ill and elderly.
We love many things about living here, but what we enjoy most is that we’re treated with dignity as adults. Our feelings and opinions matter. You’ll understand this better during the tour when you see our physical environment, the freedom we have in deciding how we live within our limitations, and the nurturing manner in which all employees interact with us.”
There are several models of culture change for nursing homes. They all respect and incorporate input from residents and staff members in such areas as decision-making and scheduling. This video from the Pioneer Network captures the transformation of four nursing homes in Anywhere, USA.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
“Welcome to Baby Boomer Haven! It’s a treasure to have you. My name is Ruth, and I’ll be your tour guide today. The first thing you need to know about our nursing home is that it’s real for some, but imaginary for too many others. Everything we enjoy here already exists in nursing homes scattered throughout America, but not in nearly enough. We’re having this tour today, so you can become familiar with possibilities that all nursing home residents should be experiencing, no matter where they are located.
When baby boomers seeking institutional healthcare show up in the millions, nursing homes like ours should be ready to receive them with welcoming lights shining in every window. Now, more than ever, nursing homes should be focused on ongoing state-of-the-art improvements. The comfortable life we live is as close as society’s handshake with commitment to quality healthcare, particularly for the ill and elderly.
We love many things about living here, but what we enjoy most is that we’re treated with dignity as adults. Our feelings and opinions matter. You’ll understand this better during the tour when you see our physical environment, the freedom we have in deciding how we live within our limitations, and the nurturing manner in which all employees interact with us.”
There are several models of culture change for nursing homes. They all respect and incorporate input from residents and staff members in such areas as decision-making and scheduling. This video from the Pioneer Network captures the transformation of four nursing homes in Anywhere, USA.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Hospice and Palliative Care Reflections: Quality of Life for Elderly, Ill Dogs (Video 3:49 mins.)
Today’s post may seem different from my usual ones. There’s no link to scientific data or a story about humans receiving hospice or palliative care. The featured topic literally goes to the dogs, rescued dogs that are mostly elderly and ill.
Living at a refuge similar to a nursing home for dogs, they struggled with health challenges ranging from deafness, epilepsy, hip dysplasia, heart murmur, and a lymphatic mass on one “hospice” dog predicted to live only a few more weeks.
Caregiving humans decided it was high time these canine seniors had their chance at smelling the roses we humans have to remind ourselves to smell. A great way to do this was to take all the dogs on a wonderful trip to dog-friendly locations immersed in adventure and nature.
This post shows another application of “quality of life” care for an elderly, ill population that has so often supported others. A soul-stirring video, “Seven Days with Seven Dogs” takes us on a “dog-centered” trip where floral fragrances permeate the air, where wounded spirits soar, and where we are reminded that the best things in life are not things.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Living at a refuge similar to a nursing home for dogs, they struggled with health challenges ranging from deafness, epilepsy, hip dysplasia, heart murmur, and a lymphatic mass on one “hospice” dog predicted to live only a few more weeks.
Caregiving humans decided it was high time these canine seniors had their chance at smelling the roses we humans have to remind ourselves to smell. A great way to do this was to take all the dogs on a wonderful trip to dog-friendly locations immersed in adventure and nature.
This post shows another application of “quality of life” care for an elderly, ill population that has so often supported others. A soul-stirring video, “Seven Days with Seven Dogs” takes us on a “dog-centered” trip where floral fragrances permeate the air, where wounded spirits soar, and where we are reminded that the best things in life are not things.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Friday, December 14, 2007
Hospice Art Therapy (Audio 5:59 mins.)
Julia Balzer Riley is a holistic nurse and artist from Florida who helps hospice patients through art therapy. She visits them wherever they receive hospice care. Starting this art therapy with cancer patients, she introduced them to painting on silk pieces.
Riley's therapy begins with centering exercises to encourage patients to set the intention for a healing image to come. Emphasis is on the art process, not the product. Patients say they don’t feel pain while they are painting.
Riley explains that patients move into a relaxation response, “fall into the process,” and often smile. Because images are in patients’ minds before words, they represent patients’ emotions. Riley believes art therapy promotes expressions of patients’ feelings and improves their well-being.
You can listen to a more detailed description of this form of hospice art therapy at this website.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Riley's therapy begins with centering exercises to encourage patients to set the intention for a healing image to come. Emphasis is on the art process, not the product. Patients say they don’t feel pain while they are painting.
Riley explains that patients move into a relaxation response, “fall into the process,” and often smile. Because images are in patients’ minds before words, they represent patients’ emotions. Riley believes art therapy promotes expressions of patients’ feelings and improves their well-being.
You can listen to a more detailed description of this form of hospice art therapy at this website.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Monday, December 10, 2007
Hospice and Nursing Home Poem: Inside Dementia, Alzheimer's Disease
This post includes the poem “Pieces of Our Minds” from my book "Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.” Each chapter ends with an original poem.
Do you ever wonder what it might be like inside the minds of patients with dementia? I do. Dementia refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. Alzheimer’s (Ahlz-high-merz) disease is the leading cause. Most people who have the disease are over sixty-five, with eighty being the average age of diagnosis. There is no cure for patients with dementia, and they eventually need complete care.
As a hospice volunteer, I have spent many hours, individually and in groups, interacting with patients who have dementia. When I am with them, I consciously try to view the world from their perspectives. This helps me understand them better and interpret needs they can’t always verbalize. That process inspired me to write this poem:
Pieces of Our Minds
On the border, on the brink,
we shiver like quivering tears
swollen to fullness with distress,
reluctant to spill an excess.
Strapped in delusions
wondrous and weird, we ride
roller coasters of reality
through joy and fear.
On the brim, on the rim,
like balls circling in frustration,
we scramble for thoughts
lost in nets of uncertainty.
Invaded by memories,
peeping, creeping, weeping,
we laugh and cry to the
rhythm of nostalgia.
On the fringe, on the edge,
changing, adjusting, impacting,
we crave compassion in our
search for society’s sanctuary.
© Frances Shani Parker
You can hear me reciting this poem on YouTube.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Do you ever wonder what it might be like inside the minds of patients with dementia? I do. Dementia refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. Alzheimer’s (Ahlz-high-merz) disease is the leading cause. Most people who have the disease are over sixty-five, with eighty being the average age of diagnosis. There is no cure for patients with dementia, and they eventually need complete care.
As a hospice volunteer, I have spent many hours, individually and in groups, interacting with patients who have dementia. When I am with them, I consciously try to view the world from their perspectives. This helps me understand them better and interpret needs they can’t always verbalize. That process inspired me to write this poem:
Pieces of Our Minds
On the border, on the brink,
we shiver like quivering tears
swollen to fullness with distress,
reluctant to spill an excess.
Strapped in delusions
wondrous and weird, we ride
roller coasters of reality
through joy and fear.
On the brim, on the rim,
like balls circling in frustration,
we scramble for thoughts
lost in nets of uncertainty.
Invaded by memories,
peeping, creeping, weeping,
we laugh and cry to the
rhythm of nostalgia.
On the fringe, on the edge,
changing, adjusting, impacting,
we crave compassion in our
search for society’s sanctuary.
© Frances Shani Parker
You can hear me reciting this poem on YouTube.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Friday, November 30, 2007
Conversation with Dr. Ira Byock on End-of-Life Care (Video 7:19 mins.)
Dr. Ira Byock is Director of Palliative Medicine, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center and a major advocate for improving end-of-life care. Past president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine, he is the author of several books, the most recent one being “The Four Things that Matter Most.”
This video conversation with Dr. Byock covers beneficial information for the healthcare profession and society in general regarding what should be done to improve the final chapter in our lives. His comments include the following:
1) Palliative care and how it differs from current medical practice
2) Personal preparation for the last chapter in life
3) Family preparations for one another’s end-of-life care
Dr. Byock explains that nationally we must face the inevitability of death and stop making prolonged life the main goal of mortal beings. He emphasizes the importance of addressing our emotional, social, and spiritual needs by deciding what our values are, considering what matters most, sharing with our families in whatever forms they exist, and putting our decisions in writing. April 16, which is National Healthcare Decision Day, and Thanksgiving Day are days selected to encourage end-of-life conversations; however, any day is a good day to discuss this crucial information.
You can view this video of Dr. Byock’s conversation about what we should be doing individually and nationally to improve end-of–life care.
Frances Shani Parker
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
This video conversation with Dr. Byock covers beneficial information for the healthcare profession and society in general regarding what should be done to improve the final chapter in our lives. His comments include the following:
1) Palliative care and how it differs from current medical practice
2) Personal preparation for the last chapter in life
3) Family preparations for one another’s end-of-life care
Dr. Byock explains that nationally we must face the inevitability of death and stop making prolonged life the main goal of mortal beings. He emphasizes the importance of addressing our emotional, social, and spiritual needs by deciding what our values are, considering what matters most, sharing with our families in whatever forms they exist, and putting our decisions in writing. April 16, which is National Healthcare Decision Day, and Thanksgiving Day are days selected to encourage end-of-life conversations; however, any day is a good day to discuss this crucial information.
You can view this video of Dr. Byock’s conversation about what we should be doing individually and nationally to improve end-of–life care.
Frances Shani Parker
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Nursing Home Residents’ Vision and Quality of Life
Imagine that life is a blur with moving shadows of people wearing fading faces. What if you have to give up reading newspapers and watching television because they’re too hard to figure out? Suppose a time when you really could see well was only a memory, and you miss the joy you felt when life was sharp and clear. Did you know that large numbers of nursing home residents see the world in a blurred manner? Sure, it’s expected that eyesight could be declining in later years. But did you know that the lack of eye care for nursing home residents is widespread in America? If any population needs regular eye exams, it’s seniors in nursing homes.
University of Alabama researchers studied nursing home residents and discovered that residents who received eyeglasses had higher scores for general vision, reading, activities, hobbies, social interaction, and fewer depressive symptoms. It’s no surprise they concluded that basic eye care services (spectacle correction) have significant implications for improving quality of life.
Patients with vision that can be corrected easily should not have to guess which foods are on their dinner plates or wonder how their surroundings and people in them really look. Our seniors deserve so much more. The study states that steps should be taken to improve delivery and eye care utilization in America. I certainly hope this “revelation” opens eyes and produces results. This research study can be found in the JAMA Archives of Ophthalmology.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”
University of Alabama researchers studied nursing home residents and discovered that residents who received eyeglasses had higher scores for general vision, reading, activities, hobbies, social interaction, and fewer depressive symptoms. It’s no surprise they concluded that basic eye care services (spectacle correction) have significant implications for improving quality of life.
Patients with vision that can be corrected easily should not have to guess which foods are on their dinner plates or wonder how their surroundings and people in them really look. Our seniors deserve so much more. The study states that steps should be taken to improve delivery and eye care utilization in America. I certainly hope this “revelation” opens eyes and produces results. This research study can be found in the JAMA Archives of Ophthalmology.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Hospice and Palliative Care: Puppets, Depression, and Dementia (Video 3:20 mins.)
Although various forms of therapy are used to help terminally ill patients who are depressed or who have dementia, I was not familiar with puppet therapy for adults with these conditions. Puppets are used as tools for the puppeteer to communicate with these patients. The goal is to break down barriers that patients are experiencing and replace them with feelings of love and improved levels of communication.
The previously posted video to help hospice and palliative care patients with depression or dementia was removed from Youtube by the owner.
The previously posted video to help hospice and palliative care patients with depression or dementia was removed from Youtube by the owner.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Friday, November 2, 2007
Hospice Volunteer Vigils: Final Days and Hours
This post is dedicated to Marcelyn Ann Stoddard, a hospice patient I never met. She died this week on October 29, 2007. Marcie had struggled with metastasized breast cancer for several years. Last month, Frank Pruett, her loving husband and caregiver, started a blog titled Moments of Marcie, in which he chronicled their final days together. I recently discovered this honest and heartfelt blog. Frank and Marcie were an inspiration for many who supported them through the hospice vigil.
Thousands of hospice volunteers are being recruited daily just like I was years ago. People follow that path for different reasons. For many, it is a unique opportunity to serve others at a critical time in their lives. Hospice volunteering has everything to do with using good common sense and applying knowledge gained through ongoing training. When it comes to patients, it is more about the volunteer being there with them than what the volunteer actually does. The patient senses and appreciates the volunteer’s presence.
The importance of being with a patient who doesn’t want to die alone is the reason many hospice programs are providing specialized volunteer vigil training. During vigil training, a volunteer is taught how to provide bedside support during the final days and hours of a patient’s life. Assistance for families is included. At some facilities, staff members also volunteer for vigil assignments. Vigils, which are based on a patient’s wishes, can include talking, praying, inspirational reading, playing music, performing rituals, touching and, of course, sharing silence. Reflecting the hospice philosophy, volunteer vigils help provide the patient with a more peaceful end-of-life experience.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Thousands of hospice volunteers are being recruited daily just like I was years ago. People follow that path for different reasons. For many, it is a unique opportunity to serve others at a critical time in their lives. Hospice volunteering has everything to do with using good common sense and applying knowledge gained through ongoing training. When it comes to patients, it is more about the volunteer being there with them than what the volunteer actually does. The patient senses and appreciates the volunteer’s presence.
The importance of being with a patient who doesn’t want to die alone is the reason many hospice programs are providing specialized volunteer vigil training. During vigil training, a volunteer is taught how to provide bedside support during the final days and hours of a patient’s life. Assistance for families is included. At some facilities, staff members also volunteer for vigil assignments. Vigils, which are based on a patient’s wishes, can include talking, praying, inspirational reading, playing music, performing rituals, touching and, of course, sharing silence. Reflecting the hospice philosophy, volunteer vigils help provide the patient with a more peaceful end-of-life experience.
Many healthcare staff members who work with
dying patients will tell you they have had patients share stories about seeing
dead people, ghosts, spirits they recognize, and angels. View this post
for my personal story and an informative video: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/end-of-life-seeing-dead-people-angels-frances-shani-parker?trk=mp-author-card
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Nursing Home Culture Change: Residents with Dementia (Video 4:06 mins.)
With all my experience as a hospice volunteer in nursing homes, I still have to be consciously aware of how I respond to patients living with dementia. Today I saw an approaching friend pushing her husband in a wheelchair. I immediately called out to her with a greeting. Within three seconds, I realized that I had only greeted her and had not said her husband’s name. I then called out to him.
My friend’s husband has dementia, which refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. I’m pretty sure that I would not have forgotten to say his name if he did not have dementia. I would have greeted them together. This is an example of the kind of conscious paradigm shift many of us must make in our thinking if we are serious about improving our interactions with people who have dementia. Culture change in nursing homes must include their unique needs. It is so easy to forget that they are adults with mental challenges.
No one wants to feel ignored, and residents with dementia are often very sensitive. They need to be recognized as contributors to conversations and honored as decision makers. Activities should be available for them to practice organization and communication skills that help them feel more like the adults they are. Time must be taken to investigate and implement activities that will help them experience life as adults with limited abilities.
Culture change in a person-directed environment includes meeting everyone’s needs. In this video, Megan Hannan explains the person-directed needs of residents with dementia.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
My friend’s husband has dementia, which refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. I’m pretty sure that I would not have forgotten to say his name if he did not have dementia. I would have greeted them together. This is an example of the kind of conscious paradigm shift many of us must make in our thinking if we are serious about improving our interactions with people who have dementia. Culture change in nursing homes must include their unique needs. It is so easy to forget that they are adults with mental challenges.
No one wants to feel ignored, and residents with dementia are often very sensitive. They need to be recognized as contributors to conversations and honored as decision makers. Activities should be available for them to practice organization and communication skills that help them feel more like the adults they are. Time must be taken to investigate and implement activities that will help them experience life as adults with limited abilities.
Culture change in a person-directed environment includes meeting everyone’s needs. In this video, Megan Hannan explains the person-directed needs of residents with dementia.
Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
You’re Invited to a Nursing Home Wedding and Reception (Video 4:18 mins.)
One day, 75-year-old Virginia Hailey and 87-year-old Frank Foskett decided it was time to tie the knot at the Life Care Center of Plymouth nursing home where they met. Love had a lot to do with their innocent bingo games evolving into a wedding so beautiful and exciting that Frank almost cried. And the best part, after sealing their vows with a kiss, is that they’ll spend the rest of their lives sharing a room at the nursing home where it all began.
The Beauty of Love
The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands, and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"
And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for each other. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love." Unknown
Welcome to a celebration of old love.
Frances Shani Parker
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
The Beauty of Love
The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands, and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"
And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for each other. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love." Unknown
Welcome to a celebration of old love.
Frances Shani Parker
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Hospice Volunteer Story: Meeting My New Patient
Pointing her out to me, the nurse aide said, "That's Henrietta sitting by herself at the table." I followed her finger to a caramel-colored woman who sat humming. She had just finished eating and still hadn't wiped her mouth. A light coating of chicken grease looked like high-priced lip gloss when I walked closer to her.
Henrietta was going to be my new hospice patient, my first at this particular nursing home. Later, she would become my first patient whose health improved so much she was discharged from hospice care. For now, she knew nothing about me, including the fact that I was coming that day to serve as her hospice volunteer. I only knew she was seventy-nine and declining mentally with dementia. I pulled up a chair next to her and said, "Hi, Henrietta. I'm Frances Shani Parker.”
Looking me straight in the eyes, like she'd known me all her life, she responded, "Girl, I know who you are, long as we've been friends. I've been waiting for you all day. I kept wondering when you were coming. I hoped you hadn't forgotten me, and here you are. What took you so long to get here?"
"Well, actually I got lost," I stammered, processing these new details concerning my whereabouts.
"Shucks, I get lost all the time. When you get lost, go to the lady at that desk over there. She'll tell you where you are. She'll tell you where you want to go. She knows everything. I'm surprised you didn't go to her before. We all do. How about some dinner? The chicken is something else, nice and tasty, just the way I like it. And I ought to know because I just had a wing that almost made me fly," she laughed.
"No, thanks. I'm not too hungry now. I'll eat when I go home. Some leftovers are waiting for me. I just came to visit you. I want to know if it will be okay with you if I come see you every week."
"Okay with me? Of course, it's okay. Look at all the years you've been coming to see me. If you stopped coming, I'd be wondering where you were just like I did today. So much is on the news, I'd be worried something happened to you. Keep on coming. I don't ever want you to stop."
"I'm looking forward to seeing you, Henrietta. We can talk together, and I can take you on wheelchair rides when I come. We'll get to know each other better. That is, better than we already know each other," I added, remembering our extensive "history."
"Sounds good to me. It's been working for us a long time. I think what you need to do now is eat something. You must be hungry after being lost all that time. Call the waitress over here and order some food. Don't worry about the money. Just put it on my tab. They know me at this restaurant. I eat here a lot."
So, this was Henrietta, an interesting oasis of serendipity. What would the future hold for us as patient and volunteer? I smiled to myself, buckled my mental seat belt, and prepared for another intriguing ride.
Henrietta was going to be my new hospice patient, my first at this particular nursing home. Later, she would become my first patient whose health improved so much she was discharged from hospice care. For now, she knew nothing about me, including the fact that I was coming that day to serve as her hospice volunteer. I only knew she was seventy-nine and declining mentally with dementia. I pulled up a chair next to her and said, "Hi, Henrietta. I'm Frances Shani Parker.”
Looking me straight in the eyes, like she'd known me all her life, she responded, "Girl, I know who you are, long as we've been friends. I've been waiting for you all day. I kept wondering when you were coming. I hoped you hadn't forgotten me, and here you are. What took you so long to get here?"
"Well, actually I got lost," I stammered, processing these new details concerning my whereabouts.
"Shucks, I get lost all the time. When you get lost, go to the lady at that desk over there. She'll tell you where you are. She'll tell you where you want to go. She knows everything. I'm surprised you didn't go to her before. We all do. How about some dinner? The chicken is something else, nice and tasty, just the way I like it. And I ought to know because I just had a wing that almost made me fly," she laughed.
"No, thanks. I'm not too hungry now. I'll eat when I go home. Some leftovers are waiting for me. I just came to visit you. I want to know if it will be okay with you if I come see you every week."
"Okay with me? Of course, it's okay. Look at all the years you've been coming to see me. If you stopped coming, I'd be wondering where you were just like I did today. So much is on the news, I'd be worried something happened to you. Keep on coming. I don't ever want you to stop."
"I'm looking forward to seeing you, Henrietta. We can talk together, and I can take you on wheelchair rides when I come. We'll get to know each other better. That is, better than we already know each other," I added, remembering our extensive "history."
"Sounds good to me. It's been working for us a long time. I think what you need to do now is eat something. You must be hungry after being lost all that time. Call the waitress over here and order some food. Don't worry about the money. Just put it on my tab. They know me at this restaurant. I eat here a lot."
So, this was Henrietta, an interesting oasis of serendipity. What would the future hold for us as patient and volunteer? I smiled to myself, buckled my mental seat belt, and prepared for another intriguing ride.
© Frances Shani Parker (excerpt from my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes)
Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
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