Hospice Volunteers: Different Kinds (Video 1:52)

I have come to the conclusion that most people think all hospice volunteers do bedside service for people who are dying. While they say they admire what hospice volunteers do, they often add they couldn’t do that kind of work themselves. That’s probably because they don’t know that there are other ways they can provide admirable hospice service themselves that would be more appropriate for their personal comfort zones.

Becoming a hospice volunteer required that I take several classes. My classes consisted of a dozen students from varied backgrounds. All of us were eager to learn what hospice entailed and what our future responsibilities might be. I learned the basics in how to support patients and their families and felt comfortable making a commitment to serving patients in inner-city Detroit nursing homes, instead of private homes. I thrived in that environment.

But a few months later, I noticed a member of my former training class working at the front desk of the hospice organization. When I asked her why she was working there, she explained that she had been unhappy working directly with terminally ill patients. She especially didn’t like working in nursing homes, but service in private homes was also not attractive. When she mentioned her concerns to the hospice coordinator, she was given other service options. Those options included involvement with office work, community outreach, and fundraising. She chose office work and said she felt fulfilled and productive supporting hospice in this manner. She especially liked communicating with visitors.

Ultimately, we had both found our respective niches where we could make our best contributions as volunteers. I encourage anyone considering hospice volunteering to keep in mind that there are various ways to serve. Hospice organizations in your local area can give you a variety of options from which to choose when you contact them. They could not function without the dedicated services of volunteers and the diverse talents they bring.

In the following video, Hospice of the Red River Valley in North Dakota is an example of a hospice organization that showcases volunteer roles for many.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Amputee Outruns Hospice Marathons (“World Champion" Poem)

Skoney, a diabetic amputee who was also mute and partially blind, epitomized “down, but not out.” My hospice volunteer experiences with him at the nursing home inspired me to write “World Champion,” a poem about his long-distance death journey. Although Skoney endured several close calls with death, he repeatedly overcame them until he eventually died one day. Observers couldn’t understand why he didn't give up sooner. Didn’t he know that death would make him free? Because he had no legs and was such a determined survivor, I viewed him as an Olympic marathon runner.

                 World Champion

                 Your bedridden body

                 wins survival marathons,

                 breaks records in life's

                 Olympic Games.

                 I touch your skeletal chest,

                 feel spirit of an aging heart

                 that outruns the Grim Reaper

                 in back-to-back wins.

                Some pity your amputated legs,

                anguished moans, unexpected

                comebacks when death

                competes with bare existence.

                No one claps or cheers

                for your personal-best pace

                toward the final race

                when you clear each hurdle.

               They don't understand

               why you won't give up

               when you defend each challenge

               to clock more blocks of time.

               Your laps for life press onward

               as you struggle to the finish,

               grin like a world champion

               each time you grab the gold.

               © Frances Shani Parker

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Working After Age 65 (Research, Video 2:02)

Here’s a question for you. If you asked most of your retired older adult friends how many would return to the workforce, what percentage do you think would say they would? Would you say 10%, 30% or 50%? According to the American Working Conditions Survey (AWCS) with findings from research conducted by investigators at RAND Corporation, Harvard Medical School and UCLA, more than half of retirees (56%) said they would return to work under the right conditions. Were you surprised? Of these retirees, there were 40% non-college graduates and 60% college graduates. Actually, nearly 40% of those who were previously retired have already returned to the workforce after finding opportunities they considered to be the right conditions for meeting their personal financial needs and/or for workplace satisfaction.

Returning to the workforce, is not always easy for older adults who may be judged based on ageist views of those who do the hiring and make unfair assumptions about older adults’ physical abilities, technology skills, and flexibility in trying new approaches. As a former school principal, I, along with members of our local school interview committee, interviewed potential staff members of various ages. We had no problem hiring teachers over 50 who were qualified and who brought an enhanced level of maturity and experience to a position. Several of them had stopped working to raise families and were looking forward to fulfilling their love for teaching. Some of them mentioned that they felt they had been overlooked at previous job interviews because of their age, even though that was not stated to them outright because of laws. Personally, I have found most of these older adults returning to work to be excellent.

Why do many older adults want to continue working into their 70’s and even their 80’s? The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that 22% of adults 65 and older will still be in the workforce by 2024. This video shares more insights about these upcoming concerns.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Mardi Gras Activities: Older Adult Seniors, Video 2:04

Growing up in New Orleans, I loved the magical season of Mardi Gras. Parades created wonderful memories for me. The excitement of swimming in an ocean of festivity, the buoyancy from living fantastic fantasies thrilled my senses. They connected me with the same wave of wonderment flowing through every child who ever lived on this planet. I store my memories in a marvelous, mental, treasure chest painted with purple, green, and gold brush strokes, the official colors of Mardi Gras. All grown up, I still smile when I look inside.

Many older adults will be smiling during Mardi Gras season this year and in the future. No matter where they live, people in cities across America love participating annually in this popular celebration. Mardi Gras day, known also as “Fat Tuesday,” falls on the day before the Christian season of Lent starts. Older adults celebrating this world-famous Carnival season often have parties and small parades. They can enjoy Mardi Gras activities explained at How to Celebrate Mardi Gras at Your Senior Facility.

Mardi Gras parades are not held on just one day. In New Orleans, street parades attracting thousands of local residents and curious tourists occur daily. It's a season with numerous parades, balls, and parties starting on January 6th. Parades are held during the day and at night until the biggest celebration on Mardi Gras Day, which can fall on any Tuesday between February 3rd and March 9th. These are upcoming Mardi Gras dates:

March 5, 2019
February 25, 2020
February 16, 2021
March 1, 2022
February 21, 2023
February 13, 2024
March 4, 2025
February 17, 2026
February 9, 2027

February 29, 2028

March 5, 2030

February 25, 2031,

February 10, 2032

March 1, 2033

February 21, 2034

February 6, 2035

February 26, 2036

February 17, 2037

March 9, 2038

February 22, 2039

February 14, 2040

March 5, 2041

February 18, 2042

February 10, 2043

March 1, 2044

February 21, 2045

February 6, 2046

February 26, 2047

February 18, 2048

March 2, 2049

February 22, 2050

Through the years, I have featured older adults celebrating Mardi Gras in various cities. Join residents in the Mardi Gras celebration video below. Hosted by the Osprey Lodge Assisted Living & Memory Care senior community in Tavares, Florida, the party has already started! Have some punch! As they say in New Orleans, “Laissez le bon temps rouler! Let the good times roll!”

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Older Adult Sex Lives (Senior Sex Research, Video 4:07)

What percentage of older adults between the ages of 65-80 do you think are sexually active? Would you say 20%, 40%, 60% or 80%? If you said 40%, you would be correct. In addition, nearly 2% of individuals in that age range have a romantic partner and 54% are sexually active. Some may find that surprising. This information resulted from research done by the National Poll on Healthy Aging sponsored by AARP and Michigan Medicine, the University of Michigan academic medical center. The survey included responses from 1,002 people from ages 65 to 80.

Other older adult sexual information from the survey revealed that, although 62% of responders said they would consult a doctor if they were having a problem with their sexual health, only 17 % had done so in the previous two years. When sexual matters were discussed, patients, not the doctors, usually initiated the discussion. Healthcare providers should be more vigilant about initiating sexual health discussions with their older adult patients. Sexual intimacy is all part of patient-centered care and improving quality of life.

What do older adults have to say about their own sex lives? In this video clip  from the Jimmy Kimmel Live television show, older adults share their sex secrets at the LA Farmers Market. (Oh, the roads I must travel in the interest of research!)

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Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog