Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit: Women of Color Cancer Support Group (Deirdre Armstrong – Frances Shani Parker Interview, Video)

Deirdre Armstrong

Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit was created to fulfill the dream of Gilda Radner, a famous American comedienne and actress, who died from ovarian cancer. A Detroiter, Gilda wanted to provide a free cancer support community for others with cancer, their families, and friends. Located locally in Royal Oak, Michigan this organization has helped thousands of members since 1998 through various support groups that accommodate diverse participants. 

I was invited to speak to the Gilda’s Club Women of Color Cancer Support Group about my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes. Sitting in a comfortable circle in the nonresidential house where Gilda’s Club is located, I enjoyed an enthusiastic discussion with a group of women in various stages of cancer or remission. Members also shared highlights of their lives related to cancer and offered helpful reassurance when needed. 

Deirdre Armstrong graciously agreed to the following interview to better convey her personal experiences as a member and encourage others.

1) What is the purpose of Gilda's Club Women of Color Cancer Support Group?

      Our group provides an opportunity for us to come together to discuss cancer-related issues relevant to us and provide mutual support.

2) How did you find out about this local cancer support group?

     I found out about this group from the American Cancer Society.   

3) What does the group do at the monthly meetings?

      The group meets the third Wednesday of every month. We bring healthy dishes to pass around. We also participate in updates on treatment, guest presentations, and problem solving concerning our individual illnesses.

4) How have you benefitted from being a member of this group?

      It is truly a blessing to have a nice place to go where I can be with people who have concerns like mine. We can all be some form of help to one another. We discuss where we are on this journey with our health struggles.

5) What advice would you give to others who might consider joining a support group?

      My advice to others is this: Do not be afraid. It is so beneficial to discuss cancer issues with other women who are walking in your shoes. Maybe they have not had multiple cancers like I have, but they will understand that this is an ongoing battle. We must not give up.

Deirdre, thank you for sharing your support group experience and inspiring others.

For more information about cancer and details about Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit services, resources, and other locations, view the following video. CMNtv Host Jay Wiencko interviews Laura Varon Brown of Gilda's Club Metro Detroit to discuss their mission of creating welcoming communities of free support for everyone living with cancer -- men, women, teens and children -- along with their families and friends. 

Note: In 2009, The Wellness Community and Gilda's Club joined forces to become the Cancer Support Community, which provides the highest quality emotional and social support through a global network of nearly 50 local affiliates, more than 100 satellite locations and online. To find a community-based center in your area, visit the Cancer Support Community website.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at booksellers such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble .

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Animal Instinct: Caregivng, Death, Bereavement (Research, Video 4:15)

Instinctive behaviors of many animals often convey their capacity for caregiving and empathy related to death and bereavement. Researchers of chimpanzees reported how three chimpanzees nurtured an elderly dying chimpanzee named Pansy. Although the chimpanzees had been separated from Pansy during the earlier stage of her illness when she was being treated, they were allowed to join her during the final phase just before her death. The chimpanzees “frequently groomed and caressed” her. They stayed close to her, shook her shoulder to test for signs of life, and appeared to understand when she was no longer alive. Although Pansy’s daughter Rosie did not normally sleep near her mother, she stayed with her mother’s corpse most of the night, but she didn’t sleep soundly.

Sixteen hours later, the chimpanzees quietly witnessed Pansy’s corpse being removed by the zookeepers. Days later, they were still subdued and refused to make a nest on the platform where Pansy had died. I thought it was interesting that they also demonstrated a need for more attention for themselves. For humans, the bereavement process is so often made easier when others support their healing.

Should zookeepers re-evaluate the common practice of removing terminally ill animals from a group?  James Anderson, lead research author, thinks so. He says, “It may be more humane to allow the group to remain together until a sick animal dies, to give the ailing animal comfort, and allow the group a sense of closure.” Does that sound familiar?

This video highlights an everyday cat coping with the suffering or death of another cat. At the beginning of the video, you may be asked to click on the YouTube link. Witness the raw expression of nurturing and grief that says a lot about animals and heartfelt caregiving. Can you feel the love?

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at booksellers such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble .

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Older Hospice Prisoners: Compassionate Release or Life in Prison? (Video 4:51)

As many as 3,300 inmates in the U.S. die in prison every year. Quality end-of-life care in prison continues to grow as more prisons establish hospice programs, particularly for an aging prison population. Inmate hospice volunteers play an important role. If a terminally ill patient is in prison, attentive caregiving can be especially beneficial when given by familiar faces of those who have also experienced the prison system.

Compassionate release is a legal system that gives inmates early release from prison sentences based on medical or humanitarian changes in the prisoner's situation. Compassionate release procedures can be mandated by the courts or by internal corrections authorities.

Controversial discussions continue to surround the topic of early release options for older adult inmates who are infirm and ill. Referred to as “compassionate release” and “medical parole,” supporters feel that placing these inmates in private medical facilities would be more cost effective for the prison system, especially for prisoners serving life terms and no longer considered a danger to society. Others who support victims of heinous crimes are adamant that prisoners should serve their life terms in prison regardless of their age and severity of their illness. What do you think?

This video explains the compassionate release program and features experiences of dying prisoners and hospice inmates who care for them.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at many booksellers such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble .

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

End-of-Life Humor: Hospice Caregiver, Dementia Patient Balloon Story

It’s a boy! No, Miss Ruby didn’t give birth at age 89. But, like all her room visitors, she thought her balloon message was hilarious!

What does this have to do with quality end-of-life care? Contrary to what some people think, many terminally ill patients continue to maintain a comic state of mind and often initiate and enjoy participating in humorous activities. Sometimes the humor is unintentional, but the energy is just as exciting. That has definitely been my experience as a hospice volunteer.

I’m a balloon lover. My favorites are Mylar foil balloons with special shapes, themes, and messages. Many of my patients with dementia enjoy balloons as much as I do. Funny scenarios have often resulted after I brought them balloons. This true story came about after I offered to get a seasonal spring balloon in a flowered shape for Miss Robinson, a patient with Alzheimer's disease, the most common form of dementia. But she decided she preferred a green balloon instead. This heart-warming balloon adventure followed.

Excerpt from my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes:

Miss Robinson was very emphatic about choosing a green balloon. She couldn’t explain why the color green meant so much to her, except to say it was her favorite color. The party-supply store had many flowered balloons, but green ones were scarce. After a lengthy search with my help, the salesperson found one green balloon in the entire store. Later that week, I brought the balloon to Miss Robinson, tied it to her wheelchair, and took her for an indoor ride around the nursing home to show it off.

“Look, everybody! Look at my red balloon! Did you ever see a red balloon this pretty? It’s my red spring balloon! Hey, everybody, look at me! I’ve got my own red balloon!” she exclaimed.

A few days later, I visited Miss Robinson. Her balloon hovered over her bed like a shiny green pit bull on guard. She could enjoy watching it bobbing around doing its doggie dance and even talk to it if she felt lonely.

“Hi, Miss Robinson. Do you remember who I am?” I asked, giving her a little memory test.

“Sure, I remember you. You’re the hat lady who brought me my purple flag. See, it’s still waving in the air. I just love my purple flag!”

I smiled, thinking of the evolving green balloon that had developed a life of its own. In less than two weeks, it had evolved at three different levels with hidden powers I hadn’t known. It was enough to have gone from a green to red balloon. Now, it had become a purple flag. I couldn’t wait to visit Miss Robinson again before the balloon deflated completely. I looked forward to hearing more about her happy adventure with the green balloon and its miraculous makeovers. 

© Frances Shani Parker

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at booksellers such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble .

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog