Alone, But Not Lonely (Research, Personality Traits Video 5:21)

Older adults and others who live alone are often viewed as having adverse health conditions and/or poor social networking skills. Some observers assume that those who are viewed as loners are unhappy with their lives and live with sad feelings of isolation from others. While this possibility exists, it is important to remember that many people who enjoy aloneness are living lives that they find satisfying and socially fulfilling.

A research study was done on the perspectives of older adults regarding their time spent alone. Participants lived in a retirement village or lived independently in the community. The three themes noted from their responses were having balance in activities, keeping busy, and experiencing nights as the worst times. This study highlights the importance some older people place on their need to manage time alone so that it is a positive and nourishing experience and to avoid extended periods of boredom. Enabling older adults to balance time spent alone by addressing barriers to participation in the community in addition to finding engaging ways to occupy time has the potential to prevent loneliness and improve well-being.

Like people of all ages, many older adults enjoy their alone time and do not view their aloneness as loneliness. Spending quality time alone can have many advantages when people have developed interesting activities that add purpose  to their lives. A lifestyle in which aloneness plays a major role may not suit everybody. But, for those who enjoy longer periods of alone time, it can be a positive addition to their overall healthy living.

The luring road to solitude promises countless adventures that enhance life journeys. Who are the people who savor this aloneness time with passion? This video explains 12 of their special personality traits.      

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Loneliness: Another Older Adult Stereotype (Research, Video 1:22)

People often don't realize that loneliness is another older adult stereotype in the same way that beliefs about their having no sex drive, being helpless, boring, unproductive, and in poor health are. This doesn’t mean loneliness isn’t real when it is experienced. In fact, too much loneliness can be destructive. But it’s still one of many ageism stereotypes that are assumed to be necessary parts of aging.

A common belief is that the majority of older adults are lonely and abandoned by families and friends, but this is not true. While family and friends may help influence whether or not they are lonely, older adults are very rarely abandoned by society. A University of California study on the growing trend of older people living alone determined that 1in 4-5 older adults lives alone mainly due to the loss of a spouse. There are 3 times as many women as men who live alone, and 2 out of 3 experience loneliness.

But what about the loneliness stereotype? The English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA) research project on loneliness studied the  association between expectations and stereotyping of loneliness in old age and actual self-reported loneliness status 8 years later. Researchers used data from 4,465 participants over age 50. Results showed that stereotypes and expectations related to loneliness in old age were significantly associated with reported loneliness 8 years later. They also concluded that interventions aimed at changing age-related stereotypes in the population may have more impact on reducing loneliness than individually based services. While there are conditions in our lives that we can’t control as we age, we can still be more positive in our expectations. Eliminating the self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness and other older adult stereotypes can greatly impact how we age. We often get exactly what we expect. 

The following video has 10 quotes about being alone that have nothing to do with being lonely. They are all by famous people. Think about them. Be the person you want to know best. Solitude can be a good friend.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog