Caregiver Resentment: Would They Do It Again? (Research, Video 3:09)

Let’s be real about caregiving. Some caregivers feel depressed, guilty, and trapped in a hole with no way out, except the death of persons in their care. Maybe they were the only siblings living near the parents, the only relatives or friends with resources to provide care, or the only persons willing to step up when others refused. Whatever their reasons, they became caregivers reluctantly, never fully embracing the responsibility, and made the most of the situation. If they had a choice, would they do it again? Some say they would not.

In a study reported in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, factors associated with an unwillingness to become caregivers again were reviewed. Former caregivers of palliative care patients were interviewed. Comparisons between those who would do caregiving again and those who would not were made with these results:

1)   One in 13 (7.4%) former caregivers indicated that they would not provide such care again.

2)   One in six (16.5%) would only "probably care again."

3)   Increasing age lessens the willingness to care again and so does lower levels of education.

4)   Despite most active caregivers being willing to provide care again, a

proportion would not.

This video about relieving stress while caring for an aging parent or spouse presents ways for caregivers to cope.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Caregiver Stress Solutions (Video 1:40 mins.)

Caregiving and stress hug too much. While many caregivers welcome the opportunity to give of themselves to their loved ones, they still find the challenge overwhelming sometimes. Then there are caregivers who never wanted the job. Perhaps they were the only ones available who would step up and accept responsibility for a difficult problem. They need help the most. Stress can take a serious physical, mental, and emotional toll on caregivers. For that reason, caregivers must always be mindful of taking care of themselves.

Probably what caregivers need most is for others to be their caregivers in some ways. The Alliance for Aging and Research reports that surveyed caregivers expressed these concerns:

1) They want programs that save them time, give them a rest from caregiving, and make them feel that they are cared about.

2) Six in ten caregivers say they would be somewhat likely to use the services of an expert they could talk to about their stress. About the same percentage would use a mobile health service in their neighborhoods.

The average person can help a caregiver in several ways:

1) Offer to assist a caregiver by temporarily relieving some of their burden physically or financially.

2) Share an uplifting activity with them.

3) Keep them informed about services that can help them. Aid them in getting the services.

4) Be a good listener and offer encouragement.

This video shows the stress of caregivers and their need for support.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog