Holidays Your Way

What's best for you during the holidays? Many people associate holidays with particular traditions that may include familiar people, places, rituals, foods, music, and more. They may even internalize that if all or most of these components are not present, then their holidays are lacking, not whole, maybe even a failure. These feelings can lead to depression, helplessness about too much of their personal needs not being met.

Particularly troubling for some may be their adjustment to holiday customs after the loss of loved ones. In cases where memories remind them of traditions that are difficult to do without people no longer there, mourners may want to consider other ways they can better embrace the holidays. One option is to create new holiday practices. If holidays were celebrated as a family, new traditions can be planned as a family with input open to everyone. This will give them opportunities to discuss their feelings about the deceased loved ones and possibly include something in the new traditions that will commemorate the deceased in an uplifting manner. This could be a type of memorial that adds pleasure to holidays in the future.

Caregivers have special considerations and should not totally neglect their own needs. With a focus on the positive, they should create a workable plan to have holidays as stress-free as possible. They can consider including the essentials of what they hope to accomplish and eliminating activities that are not really needed. They should encourage assistance from others and be mindful of balance in their own lives. AARP suggests these 10 holiday tips specifically for caregivers.

Whatever situations the holidays bring, remember that there is no one way of participation for everyone. There are different ways that work well for different people. Their choices should be respected and not judged negatively because they are not the norm. For those who find the holidays frustrating, phony, or too commercial, they may want to redirect their holiday focus and participate in activities that are calmer and more meaningful to them. One example could be volunteering at places where they can be helpful to others. Some may want to celebrate alone or socialize with one or two friends. Another choice could be taking a trip to a location they love or want to experience.

Whether celebrating the holidays alone, with others, or not at all, people should follow their hearts and do what feels best for them. Person-centered holidays can include activities that may not have anything to do with the holidays at all, but everything to do with their own quality of life.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Your Person-Centered Holidays

Through the years, holidays often become associated with particular traditions that may include familiar people, places, rituals, foods, music, and more. It is easy to internalize that if all or most of these components are not present, then your holidays are lacking, not whole, certainly not person-centered. These feelings can lead to depression, helplessness about too many of your needs not being met.

Particularly troubling for some may be the adjustment to holiday customs after loved ones have died. In cases where memories remind you of traditions that are difficult to do without deceased loved ones, you may want to consider other ways you can better embrace the holidays. One option is to create new holiday practices. If holidays were celebrated as a family, new traditions can be planned as a family with input open to everyone. This will present opportunities to discuss feelings about the deceased and possibly include activities in the new traditions that commemorate the deceased in an uplifting manner. One example could be a memorial that adds pleasure to holidays in the future.

If you are a caregiver, be sure to consider your own needs in addition to your patient's needs. With a focus on the positive, you can create a workable plan to have holidays as stress-free as possible. This can be done by including the essentials of what you hope to accomplish and eliminating activities that add more worry and that are not really needed. You should encourage assistance from others and be mindful of balance in your own life. AARP suggests 10 holiday tips especially for caregivers.

Whatever situations the holidays bring, there is no one way of participation for everyone. There are different ways that work well for different people. Your choices should be respected and not judged negatively because they are not considered the norm. For those of you who find the holidays stressful, phony, or too commercial, you may want to redirect your holiday focus and participate in ways that are calmer and more meaningful to you. One example could be volunteering at places where you can be helpful to others.You may want to celebrate alone or socialize with one or two friends. Another choice could be taking a trip to a location you love or want to experience for the first time.

Whether celebrating the holidays alone, with others, or not at all, you should follow your heart with efforts to meet your own needs within the framework of your particular situation. Person-centered holidays can include activities that may or may not have anything to do with the holidays at all, but everything to do with your own quality of life. 

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog