Loneliness: Another Older Adult Stereotype (Research, Video 1:22)

People often don't realize that loneliness is another older adult stereotype in the same way that beliefs about their having no sex drive, being helpless, boring, unproductive, and in poor health are. This doesn’t mean loneliness isn’t real when it is experienced. In fact, too much loneliness can be destructive. But it’s still one of many ageism stereotypes that are assumed to be necessary parts of aging.

A common belief is that the majority of older adults are lonely and abandoned by families and friends, but this is not true. While family and friends may help influence whether or not they are lonely, older adults are very rarely abandoned by society. A University of California study on the growing trend of older people living alone determined that 1in 4-5 older adults lives alone mainly due to the loss of a spouse. There are 3 times as many women as men who live alone, and 2 out of 3 experience loneliness.

But what about the loneliness stereotype? The English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA) research project on loneliness studied the  association between expectations and stereotyping of loneliness in old age and actual self-reported loneliness status 8 years later. Researchers used data from 4,465 participants over age 50. Results showed that stereotypes and expectations related to loneliness in old age were significantly associated with reported loneliness 8 years later. They also concluded that interventions aimed at changing age-related stereotypes in the population may have more impact on reducing loneliness than individually based services. While there are conditions in our lives that we can’t control as we age, we can still be more positive in our expectations. Eliminating the self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness and other older adult stereotypes can greatly impact how we age. We often get exactly what we expect. 

The following video has 10 quotes about being alone that have nothing to do with being lonely. They are all by famous people. Think about them. Be the person you want to know best. Solitude can be a good friend.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

HIV and Older Adults (Research, Video 1:42)

Something negative and shocking may happen in our society this year. It is predicted that older adults will represent 50%of persons living with HIV in the United States. This population particularly should pay attention to these statistics. Rising rates of HIV among older adults require diligent use of condoms, no sharing of needles, testing for HIV, and discussions about HIV/AIDS with their doctors and others. AIDS.gov serves as a gateway for information about federal government efforts with a focus on domestic programs.

But so much more can and should be done to get the message out about safe sex for older adults. Ageism attitudes and stereotypes in society also impact HIV prevention by perpetuating myths about low sexuality among this population, low clinical HIV suspicion among healthcare providers, lack of knowledge about risk among older women, and different ways that older adults negotiate sexual practices. Older women are at a disadvantage when it comes to HIV prevention, education, and treatment.

This video shows how the city of Baltimore health officials and private health care providers are spreading the word about HIV/STD testing and prevention.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Detroit Writing Workshop, Brush Park Manor: Stories of Successful Aging After 60 -- Frances Shani Parker, Facilitator

Heartfelt stories tucked inside had aged into whispers needing to be shouts. Stereotypes of life after 60 portraying them as declining old people waiting for life’s finale had persuaded some to even question their own testimonies. What energizes life after 60? What celebrates worth of the worthy? An exciting workshop partnership between Brush Park Manor, an independent living Presbyterian Villages of Michigan community for older Detroit adults, and Poets and Writers, Inc. was the answer.

Participants came together in a mutual quest to find out what really matters in life for them now and how they could inspire aging journeys of others. They created win-win personal narratives that helped them discover more about themselves and one another. An enlightening collection of stories representing their personal truths evolved through focused introspection and sharing.

These are some successful aging gems from their stories:

    1. Joyce Alfaro enjoys traveling to many countries now that she has time.

    2. Nathan Anderson stopped using drugs and counsels other addicts.

    3. Bessie Ardis keeps in touch with her family at reunions.

    4. Dorothy Bell cherishes her freedom to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it.

   5. Barbara Jean Carter plays music and crochets to relax and be creative.

   6. Mildred Everette enjoys meetings and trips with the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren program.

    7. Charity Jackson teaches the Enhance Fitness exercise program to fellow residents while improving her  own health.

    8. Thomas Jackson takes pride in photography and singing.

    9. Harriet Jenkins feels glad that her husband still thanks her for being his caregiver a few years ago.

   10. Edward Leonard shares with others life lessons he’s learned.

   11. Leila Marshall looks forward to new experiences and people in her work as an evangelist.

   12. Harold Massingille's post retirement job as Brush Park Manor service coordinator brings him appreciation and  smiles.

   13. Helen Presley reveals that life is truly worth living. She finds comfort in reading her Bible.

   14. Bettye Roseboro’s faith strengthens her through trials in life and makes aging wonderful.

   15. Dorothy Wise, a heart and kidney transplant and cancer survivor, declares she is a miracle.

   16. Barbara Young keeps busy with committee work and dating her male companion.
     
You probably noticed negative stereotypes about life after 60 are missing. Now, that's successful aging!

Bessie Ardis (above) was our oldest writing workshop participant at 93 years old.

 Workshop facilitator Frances Shani Parker (right) reviews another inspiring story.

You can read more details about this writing workshop at the Poets and Writers, Inc. website.


Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Aging and Humor: Young and Old Responses (Research)

Laughing matters are enjoyed by both the young and old. But do they respond the same when they joke? Research on humor suggests that older adults love humor more than young people, but they have more difficulty understanding what certain jokes mean. Punch lines can be puzzling. Considering how much language changes over the years, that makes perfect sense. After all, acronyms such as “lol” meant “lots of love” back in the day, not “laughing out loud.” But cognitive processes in older adults can also play an important role in their misunderstanding humor.

What about the amount of laughter that the young and old exhibit? Although older adults love humor more than young people, the amount of laughter they display is less than the laughter of young people. Some things seem less funny as they age. Older adults also don’t like aggressive forms of humor as much as young people. They are especially sensitive to jokes about old age. Can you blame them?

I wanted to conclude this post with a few positive jokes about older adults or aging. Frankly, I had a very hard time finding jokes that weren’t critical of aging and with an emphasis on physical and mental decline. I would like to see more jokes in praise of aging without all the stereotypes that even some older adults believe so much that they have grown to become the stereotypes themselves. Now, new crops of young people are perpetuating the same stereotypes and worse at numerous sites on the Internet. Eventually, I found these two jokes to share.

Clever Hearing

An elderly gentleman had hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've already changed my will three times!"

Best Thing

A reporter was interviewing a 104-year-old woman. 

"What do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

The woman simply replied, "No peer pressure."

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog