Help for Children Who Are Caregivers (Video 5:34)

Imagine being one of hundreds of thousands of children, some as young as eight, who must serve as a major caregiver to an adult on a daily basis. This is the reality of many school children, particularly in racial-ethnic minority communities and among low to mid-income families.

As a former school principal, it was not unusual for me to have students in elementary through high school grades with attendance problems due to caregiving responsibilities at homes when no one else was available to help. These children’s responsibilities included medicating, dressing, feeding, bathing, and more. The emotional stress of child caregivers can be even more harmful to them than the physical burdens. Unfortunately, as the economy struggles and the ranks of baby boomers expand, increasing numbers of children are being assigned caregiving responsibilities.

More people are recognizing this problem, and for some children, but not nearly enough, help is being provided. The Caregiving Youth Project sponsored by the American Association of Caregiving Youth provides in-school assistance and a caregiver camp for children who are caregivers. This gives them an opportunity to receive guidance, support, and social interaction with other children who can understand what they are going through as they manage adult responsibilities. This "New York Times" video shadows the lives of three children who are caregivers and highlights this national program that assists them.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes” 

“Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog”

Near-Death Experiences (NDEs) of Children and Adults (Video 2:23 mins.)

Wow! I saw a light!

With a focus on hospice, nursing homes, and seniors, I don’t get to post a child’s picture on this blog often. But today’s topic shares death-related concerns about children and adults. Like adults, children can also become critically ill and near death. Their near-death experiences (NDEs) are nearly identical to those of many adults. When they return to living, both children and adults perceive themselves as changed.

For nearly two decades, pediatrician Melvin Morse has been documenting near-death experiences of critically ill children. He says these children have perceptions that the light they saw during the NDE will be with them always. When they return from the brink of death, their understanding of life and death is unique.

Of course, discussions about near-death experiences inevitably bring up the possibility of immortality. Many people believe in life after death. For them, death is a comma, a pause proceeded by a dash into another dimension of life. Others say that life, as we know it while living, is all there is to existence. They consider death to be a period at the end of the final sentence in their life stories. Of course, a lot of people say they don’t know what to believe.

Scientific research on near-death experiences and other death-related phenomena continues to accumulate data to shed new light on discussions about life after death. Ultimately, people have to decide for themselves what they want to believe.

This video showcases the fascinating near-death experiences of young children who were critically ill. Several of their drawings and writings are explained.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many online and offline booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble online stores.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Children Talk About Grandparents and Dementia, Alzheimer's Disease (Video 6:30 mins.)

Dementia refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. Many conditions can cause dementia, but Alzheimer’s (Ahlz-high-merz) disease is the leading cause. Most people who have the disease are over sixty-five, with eighty being the average age of diagnosis.

So often, we hear about responses of adults regarding parents with dementia. But what is dementia like through the eyes of grandchildren? Imagine their emotions when a loved one forgets their names and can’t remember the relationship they have. What about the hurt feelings children experience when an agitated grandparent with dementia strikes out at them verbally or physically and they’ve done nothing to cause this?

Dementia must be explained to children in age-appropriate ways that can support them in their adjustments to the dementia of a grandparent. Listening to children’s concerns and encouraging them to express them are important. Family discussions can be helpful for everyone.

Parents should be aware of changes in children’s behavior at home and school. Children need reassurances that they are not the cause of a grandparent’s mood swings, that they are still loved by the grandparent who has an illness that sometimes interferes with the expression of that love. They should be reminded of the many good times in the past that they shared with a grandparent.

In this video, children talk about their experiences of having grandparents with dementia.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Children as Caregivers: A Hidden National Problem (Video 2:54 mins.)

Most of us are aware of the millions of unpaid adult caregivers in America. But did you know that 1.4 million children, some as young as eight years old, are also caregivers? Most of their disabled or sick patients, usually parents or grandparents, have Alzheimer’s disease or cancer. Because these young people take on complex responsibilities early in life, they often miss experiences that most children take for granted. Sleepovers and after-school activities can be difficult when an ill loved one needs caregivng available at home. This problem is particularly prevalent in minority communities and among low to mid-income families.

A government study based on two national surveys by Mathew Greenwald and Associates reports that caregiving for young people can include, not only feeding, dressing, and medicating, but also toileting, bathing, and changing adult diapers. It is not unusual for these children to miss school in order to perform their caregiving duties. The emotional stress they carry can be even more harmful to them than the physical burdens. They are also more likely to be anxious and depressed.

You can view this video that gives more information about this seldom discussed problem of children serving as caregivers with adult responsibilities.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog