Alzheimer's Dementia Reflections (Video 4:44)

                                                                                                                                           

As 2023 approaches, let's reflect on Alzheimer's dementia in terms of where we are and where we may be going in the future. We can begin by defining what dementia is in general terms. Dementia refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. According to the "Journal of the American Geriatrics Society," by the year 2025, an estimated 7.2 million Americans are expected to have Alzheimer's disease, the most common form of dementia that accounts for 60% to 80% of dementia cases. By 2060, unless there are major medical breakthroughs, current numbers will almost double.

Clearly, Alzheimer's is a challenge many people must face with preparedness by becoming as informed as possible in putting forth their best efforts in ways that benefit themselves as well as meeting needs of those living with the disease. People living with Alzheimer's may experience changes in behavior and personality such as anxiety and delusions.  Like a fluttering bee, Alzheimer's can leave caregivers wondering when the person in their care will perform in ways that will make honey or ways that will make them sting. How caregivers approach and handle their roles during their interactions is very important. Local Alzheimer's Association chapters can offer needed local assistance to caregivers. The 24/7 Helpline Phone Number  is 800-272-3900. 

The following ageless video below titled “It’s a Sparrow” is a moving example of how a negative caregiving experience can evolve into a positive one through thoughtful reflection. 

              

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers. Visit Frances Shani Parker's Website.

Dementia, Hospice, Ancestor Poem

                                     

                                          

Her name was Miss Loretta. A hospice volunteer, I admired her brown, wrinkled hands often when I visited her weekly at a Detroit, Michigan nursing home. During our conversations, her aged hands and soft whispers reflected happy highs and tragic lows of muddled memories from our shared history. Our common heritage included countless years when we did not know each other. But history bridged our communication beyond her debilitating dementia that intensified during our many meetings before she died. 

Recently, I thought about Miss Loretta when I discovered a website with photos featuring elderly hands. Immediately grabbing my attention were mesmerizing hands very similar to Miss Loretta's. I felt her presence reassuring me again in her own unique way through scattered recollections of historical backstories. I recalled a poem I had written years ago that was inspired by our special kinship. Miss Loretta's spirit continues to influence my life as I create my own wrinkled legacy.

The following poem is my special tribute to Miss Loretta and our awe-inspiring ancestors who endured the unendurable while creating pathways for future generations. Their helping hands and unwavering resilience gifted us with treasured testimonies about joy, pain, courage and survival beyond dementia and far deeper than words.

"Deeper Than Words" by Frances Shani Parker

The outside world arrives wearing my willing face. 

Toothless, your smile widens like a baby's hungry for attention.

Almost ninety-eight years old, your inner candle still glows.

A hospice volunteer, I lean closer, talk into your listening left ear.

"Today is Sunday, Miss Loretta." My news drifts away like smoke.

You stare at me through dying coals. Whatever I ask, you whisper, "Yes."

I stroke your age-softened hands while your hazed mind masters sleep.

Watching you, I dream generations of women black and strong,

each one a book of sustaining stories about joy, pain, courage, survival.

Within your warm, brown frame, spirits from our common history linger.

Aides say you have dementia, that you don't know a word I say.

Our language goes deeper than words. We speak to each other's souls.

Frances Shani Parker is author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and off-line booksellers. Visit Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog and Frances Shani Parker's Website.

School-Nursing Home Partnerships (Service-Learning, Dementia)

I have had many occasions as an educator to implement and consult on intergenerational partnerships between schools and nursing homes. This was done through service-learning, a teaching and learning approach that connects learning with meeting community needs. Included in curriculum learning objectives, service-learning is used by many schools and community organizations. For example, after students learn how to write letters at school, service-learning could include writing letters to nursing home residents who would benefit from receiving them. Students can also do school performances at nursing homes.

A growing body of service-learning research shows that students benefit academically and affectively from service-learning. Because teachers prepare students well before their nursing home visits, students know what to expect. If a resident falls asleep or cries, students understand why that is okay. Dementia is understood with relevance and meaning. Students are open to the experience of being with the elderly and the challenged. They take pride in the roles they play as visiting caregivers who enrich lives. They empathize with the realities of residents living with dementia.

After students return to school, they reflect on how their nursing home visit affected residents and  themselves, what they learned, and ways to share that information with others. While students' reflections can take many forms (written, oral, dance, music, art), the poem below is an example of a student’s poetic reflection. My book, Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes, includes a chapter on intergenerational partnerships between schools and nursing homes. 

A Student's Service-Learning Reflections

I know you erase your

roommate sometimes, 

take distant trips in your mind, 

see me as a short brown blur

when I visit your nursing home.

I know your childhood

friends whisper secrets,

your favorite dress has ruffles,

my cards touch you with sunshine,

you love the stories I tell.

I know that carrots

make you frown,

my visits swing you higher,

loneliness glues you down,

you miss your friends who died.

I know your words 

make me feel better,

feed my heart with praise,

help me care about others

the way you care about me.

© Frances Shani Parker

Note: Winner of the National Service-Learning Partnership Trailblazer Award, Frances Shani Parker, a hospice volunteer, writer,  eldercare consultant, and retired Detroit Public Schools principal, has been instrumental in implementing service-learning in school districts across America.

You can read about fourth graders' nursing home research on ageism stereotypes here.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers. Visit Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog and Frances Shani Parker's Website.

Are You Asking People to Tell You Your Name?

                                                                                                                             

Seriously, if you do this, please stop asking people living with dementia to tell you your name when you greet them. Don't start the conversation with a test they might fail along with your hurt feelings when they do fail. Just say your name and who you are. If they decide to give you another name, that may be okay, too. Don't say that person has been dead ten years, and you told them that 925 times. Don't say that dead people are never coming to visit them again, so quit asking about them or you will take them to the cemetery to see their graves as proof.

Can we all just get along and lighten up? As a hospice volunteer over 20 years mostly in Detroit nursing homes, I have learned there is no one way of handling dementia issues. A lot depends on the level of the disease a person has and their reality. Personally, I have enjoyed impersonating other people sometimes. For example, I have pretended to be a male hospice patient's deceased wife. When I entered his room the first time, he grinned widely, called me Judy, and said how glad he was to see me. Instinctively, I decided to try being Judy, even though I knew from the brief information I had been given about him that Judy, his deceased wife, had been dead several years.

From that day until he died, I entered his reality world as Judy whenever he decided that was who I was. Although neither one of us sang too well, we loved crooning old Motown songs when we reminisced about our dates at Belle Isle Park when we were married. Passing ships, seasonal surroundings, and our general joy were back-in-the-day scenarios we revisited. I often let him take the lead with his descriptive memories that were enlightening, amusing, and welcoming to me. I felt like I was right where I belonged being Judy. I knew we were making progress on some level.

When each visit ended, we BOTH had created more wonderful memories of our special time together at the nursing home. We could recall later with pleasure our experiences featuring a union of minds that made perfect sense to us. And I knew that I could always go back to being Frances Shani Parker in my own reality world any time.

Frances Shani Parker, an eldercare consultant and retired school principal, is author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes. This book is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers. Visit Frances Shani Parker's website.                                                                   

Can Volunteer Service Choose You?

                    

If you are a volunteer, have you ever thought that you didn't choose volunteer service, but that it chose you? I have been a hospice volunteer for twenty years, most of them in urban nursing homes. But I can remember when I dreaded being around sick people. Mostly, I felt I didn't have skills to do the right things in a healthcare environment where somebody might get hurt if I messed up. Once in high school as part of a school club, I visited a nursing home where I fed a woman jello. Years later, jello still reminded me of her and the nursing home, but not in a good way. Volunteering with sick people? Nope, no way! Not me!

So what changed me? Life did. During the 90's, AIDS caused by the HIV virus was like a pandemic in the LGBTQ community. Infected people were often ostracized, criticized, demonized, and dying. I was principal of an urban public school in an area of high poverty, crime and homelessness. Although I had plenty to do on my crowded plate, I felt right at home. However, over a three-year period, I was thrust into life-threatening dilemmas of two gay men I hardly knew. They were my introductions to long-term care of the terminally ill.

Jake, who was in his 30's, came around to talk sometimes after school dismissal. He was showing signs of dementia. He complained about being harassed by invisible people all the time. His boyfriend left him, and he had no family support. I knew he couldn't navigate the healthcare system alone. Eventually, I convinced him and his unseen tormenters to pile into my compact car, buckle up, and let me drive everybody to the hospital where Jake was admitted immediately. Later, he was placed in a nursing home that he said the invisible people did not like. They left, but I looked out for him until he died several months after that.

I thought that surreal scenario would never happen again, but it did a few months later with a man named Sam who was in my exercise class. I didn't really know him, but I asked him what was wrong when I saw him crying in the parking lot one day after class. He told me he had AIDS and had just lost his job because he had missed too much work. He had little family support because they knew he had AIDS and were reluctant to be around him or go to his house. I found him an HIV-AIDS support group which he loved, helped him on his medical journey, and learned more about healthcare and myself in the process. I believe good service is always win-win when I am open to my own growth. Fortunately, his condition improved greatly when better medications became available. 

Several months later after Sam had moved on, I met a friend I had not seen in quite a while who told me she was a hospice volunteer. I actually asked her what a hospice volunteer does and was surprised when I realized that was what I had been doing with the two men. I had been a hospice volunteer all that time and didn't even know it. A few weeks later, I saw a newspaper ad recruiting people for hospice volunteer training. I decided to take the classes and become certified  in case another very ill person showed up in my life. 

Of course, the rest is history. Terminally ill people have come into my life often as patients assigned to me in various nursing homes where I have experienced compelling challenges and satisfying rewards. My book, Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes shares captivating stories, original poems, and more about the nursing home world and hospice volunteering that chose me.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers. Frances Shani Parker's Website

Social Robots: Caregiver-Older Adult Senior Evaluations (Research, Video 2: 54)

Before I begin sharing the wonders of social robots used to support caregiving, allow me to address any concerns you may have about robots replacing people or not being that important. Robots can’t replace people, but they can provide services that allow people more time to be caregivers. They give care recipients more opportunities to be supported and stimulated in daily living activities. They allow technology to accurately assess and evaluate their progress. Robots help older adults with dementia gain a degree of independence that encourages them to complete activities. 

But probably the best evaluators of how successful social robots can be are older adults and caregivers themselves. That’s when research such as this can be valuable. This research review on social robots aims to summarize the effectiveness of social robots on outcomes (psychological, physiological, quality of life, or medications) of older adults from randomized controlled trials. Eight databases were electronically searched including a total of 13 articles from 2,204 articles with these results:

1.    Social robots appeared to have positive impacts on agitation, anxiety, and quality of life for older adults.

2.    Results from a narrative review indicated that social robot interactions could improve engagement, interaction, and stress indicators, as well as reduce loneliness and the use of medications for older adults.

3.    Social robots appeared to have the potential to improve the well-being of older adults, but conclusions are limited due to the lack of more high-quality studies.

What kind of role will robots have in the future of older adults?  In this video, Rudy the robot is designed to be more affordable, to help around the house, be an interactive companion, and generally help older adults stay in their homes so they can be more independent. Here’s Rudy!

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Dementia Caregiving Benefits (Alzheimer’s Research, Video 4:44)

Caregiving in general has positive and negative aspects, and dementia caregiving is no exception. Dementia refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. Many conditions can cause dementia, but Alzheimer’s disease is the leading cause. Those living with dementia may experience changes in behavior and personality, such as anxiety and delusions.  Like a fluttering bee, dementia can leave a caregiver wondering when it will make honey or sting.

It is helpful for caregivers to be reminded of the “honey” they can achieve in their caregiving roles, especially from the perspectives of primary caregivers of relatives. This research done with 57 primary caregivers of people living with dementia does that. These caregivers provided 669 diary recordings over an 8-week period. They described daily events and experiences in which positive gains in the form of themes were achieved. These were the positive themes they shared:

1)   Insights about dementia and acceptance of the condition

2)   A sense of purpose and commitment to the caregiving role

3)   Feelings of gratification when the care-recipient was functioning relatively well

4)   Skills to handle the care-recipient

5)   Increased patience and tolerance

6)   Positive meanings and humor amidst difficult circumstances

7)   Release of plans, such as an unrealistic personal agenda

8)   A closer relationship with the care-recipient

9)   Support and feelings of usefulness helping other caregivers

While negative outcomes for caregivers, such as depression, also need to be treated, drawing more awareness to these positive caregiver benefits and strategies to achieve them can be very rewarding. Knowing how to reframe stressful situations in a more positive light can add more positivity to caregiving experiences.

The following video titled “It’s a Sparrow” is a soul stirring example of how a negative caregiving experience can evolve into a positive one through thoughtful reflection.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Volunteer, Patient First Meeting

Pointing her out to me, the nurse aide said, "That's Henrietta sitting by herself at the table." I followed her finger to a caramel-colored woman who sat humming. She had just finished eating and still hadn't wiped her mouth. A light coating of chicken grease looked like high-priced lip gloss when I walked closer to her.

Henrietta was going to be my new hospice patient, my first at this particular nursing home. Later, she would become my first patient whose health improved so much she was discharged from hospice care. For now, she knew nothing about me, including the fact that I was coming that day to serve as her hospice volunteer. I only knew she was seventy-nine and declining mentally with dementia. I pulled up a chair next to her and said, "Hi, Henrietta. I'm Frances Shani Parker.”

Looking me straight in the eyes like she'd known me all her life, she responded, "Girl, I know who you are, long as we've been friends. I've been waiting for you all day. I kept wondering when you were coming. I hoped you hadn't forgotten me, and here you are. What took you so long to get here?"

"Well, actually I got lost," I stammered, processing these new details concerning my whereabouts.

"Shucks, I get lost all the time. When you get lost, go to the lady at that desk over there. She'll tell you where you are. She'll tell you where you want to go. She knows everything. I'm surprised you didn't go to her before. We all do. How about some dinner? The chicken is something else, nice and tasty, just the way I like it. And I ought to know because I just had a wing that almost made me fly," she laughed.

"No, thanks. I'm not too hungry now. I'll eat when I go home. Some leftovers are waiting for me. I just came to visit you. I want to know if it will be okay with you if I come see you every week."

"Okay with me? Of course, it's okay. Look at all the years you've been coming to see me. If you stopped coming, I'd be wondering where you were just like I did today. So much is on the news, I'd be worried something happened to you. Keep on coming. I don't ever want you to stop."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you, Henrietta. We can talk together, and I can take you on wheelchair rides when I come. We'll get to know each other better. That is, better than we already know each other," I added, remembering our extensive "history."

"Sounds good to me. It's been working for us a long time. I think what you need to do now is eat something. You must be hungry after being lost all that time. Call the waitress over here and order some food. Don't worry about the money. Just put it on my tab. They know me at this restaurant. I eat here a lot."

So, this was Henrietta, an interesting oasis of serendipity. What would the future hold for us as patient and volunteer? I smiled to myself, buckled my mental seat belt, and prepared for another fascinating ride.

© Frances Shani Parker (excerpt from my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes) 

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Grandchildren Discuss Dementia, Alzheimer’s (Video 6:30)

So often, we hear views of adults regarding their parents with dementia. But what is dementia like through the eyes of grandchildren? Imagine their emotions when their loved ones forget their names and can’t remember the relationships they have. What about the hurt feelings these young people experience when agitated grandparents with dementia strike out at them verbally or physically, and they’ve done nothing they know of to cause this?

Dementia must be explained to children in age-appropriate ways that support them in their adjustments to dementia of grandparents and others. Listening to these young people’s concerns and encouraging them to express them are important. Family discussions can be helpful for everyone.

Parents should be aware of changes in grandchildren’s behaviors at home and school. These young people need reassurances that they are not the cause of grandparents’ mood swings, that they are still loved by grandparents who have an illness that sometimes interferes with the expression of that love. Children should be reminded of the many good times in the past that they shared with their grandparents.

In this video, young people express their feelings about how their grandparents’ dementia has impacted their lives.

For more intergenerational information about dementia, you can view this post featuring children learning about dementia through school partnerships.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at booksellers such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble .

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice Volunteer Training Video: Caregiving, Dementia, Death, More (Video 30:16)

Frances Shani Parker, an eldercare consultant, writer and former school principal, has been a dedicated hospice volunteer for many years. In addition to serving nursing home residents, she is author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes (paperback, e-book) and writes a popular blog titled Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog. Featured in various eldercare media, she was interviewed on the television show Aging Well in America. She shares her experiences and general eldercare information that can benefit others, especially hospice and other healthcare volunteers. The video interview below covers these topics:

Hospice

Hospice Volunteer Training

Nursing Homes (Long-Term Care)

Volunteering

Caregiving

Dementia

Death Preparations

Intergenerational Partnerships

Older Adult Stereotypes

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and in e-book editions at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Alzheimer’s Sundown Syndrome Support: Adult Night Care (Video 9:03)

Sundown is usually time to wind down and embrace the peaceful restoration that comes with night. For 20% of older adults with Alzheimer’s disease, however, sundown means just the opposite. They experience a phenomenon known as sundown syndrome when expectations and energy levels rise to greet new excitement and activities. Caregivers reluctantly face another nightly challenge of interrupted or nonexistent sleep caused by constant monitoring. When sleep does come, worries about the safety of loved ones invade their dreams.

While adult day care programs are popular, many people could benefit greatly if they had more night care support designed for people who are living at home and require constant supervision during the night. ElderServ at Night, located at the Hebrew Home at Riverdale in New York, is such a program. They accept Medicaid, and they also have a day program.

Adult night care is particularly helpful for people who suffer with sundown syndrome or other sleep disturbances that keep them awake during the night when they may become anxious and fearful without activities to keep them occupied. The night care program relieves caregivers of stress and allows them to sleep well knowing that their loved ones are being cared for throughout the night. This video showcases ElderServ at Night.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions at many booksellers in America and other countries. Two online booksellers are Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Frances Shani Parker and Anne Marie Gattari Television Interview: Aging Well in America (Video 30:16)

Frances Shani Parker, an eldercare consultant, former school principal, hospice volunteer, and author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes, was featured guest on Aging Well in America, a television show hosted by Anne Marie Gattari. The interview covered these topics:

Hospice

Nursing Homes

Volunteering

Caregiving

Dementia

Death Preparations

Intergenerational Partnerships 

Older Adult Stereotypes

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Dementia Patients Eating (Alzheimer’s Research, Hospice Volunteer Story)

“Food? What food?”

As a hospice volunteer in Detroit nursing homes, I had contact often with residents not assigned to me. My hospice patients were always my primary concern, but most of them shared rooms with up to three other people. At mealtimes, my patient and I shared a table with six other residents. In the excerpt below, I am the only one at the dinner table without dementia. Due to limited staff, I knew I would have to supervise, encourage, and generally keep an eye on everybody at the table. A public school principal, I was used to multi-task management and didn’t mind assisting them at all.

Excerpt from my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes :

I continued talking to Naomi (my hospice patient) and assisting her while monitoring others at the table. I noticed that Petra had not touched anything. Petra was not a very independent eater, but I knew she was physically capable of feeding herself by any means necessary.

“Petra, your food is just sitting there getting cold. You have a whole tray of delicious things to eat. You should eat some and see how good it is. You’re a good eater. Eat your food.”

“Food? What food? I don’t have none.”

“The food on this tray is all for you, Petra. This is your food tray right in front of you. Watch me point to each item. You have coffee, juice, milk, mashed potatoes, fish, broccoli, bread, and fruit. That’s your name spelled P-e-t-r-a.”

“That’s not my name. My name is Petra. That’s somebody else’s name. That’s not my name. I know my name.”

“Well, that is still your food on the tray. You should eat before it gets cold. Go ahead and eat. Give it a try.”

“Eat? Eat what?”

“Your food, Petra, your fish, potatoes, and everything else.”

“Fish? What fish? I don’t have none. Do you see a fish here? I don’t see a fish. I don’t have none.” 
(Note: Nowadays, I would omit some of the above conversation to keep her calmer and more focused on eating.)

From previous experience, I knew that Petra and I could go on roaming forever around this same circle. Luckily, today she was sitting next to me. I gave her a taste of the fish because I knew she liked it. Then I placed her fork in her hand and started her off eating. I did this in steps by steering her hand and giving her directions on putting food into her mouth, chewing, and swallowing. Patients with dementia needed tasks broken into simple steps. Usually, she ate for a while by herself, even with her hands, once somebody started her off. But without any help getting started, she would sit and look at the food she said was not there. My other hand continued to assist Naomi.

“Don’t do that! Leave my food alone! Get your nasty hands off my plate! Help! Can somebody help me?” screamed a resident at our table as if she were under attack. All the nurse aides were occupied feeding residents at other tables and experiencing their own mealtime problems. I was resigned to be the unofficial table captain. I told Roscoe sternly to leave Charlena’s food alone. He gave me a confused look, pretended he didn’t know what I was talking about, but betrayed himself with a silly smirk he thought I didn’t see. I leaned across the table and directed his attention to his own plate by putting his spoon in his food. He picked up his spoon and started eating again. Then I reassured Charlena that everything was okay, and she could finish eating. Charlena smiled with an air of triumph. Roscoe was in trouble, and she relished knowing she helped to get him there.

Rita had been watching me help Naomi and Petra eat. Now, she was attempting to feed George, but with her own used utensils. George had his mouth open obligingly, anything to help the cause. I interceded before any damage was done. By this time, several residents had spilled food on the table or the floor and had food stains on their bibs. Petra had to be restarted twice to eat the food she insisted she’d never received. I had stood to lean across the table two more times to settle other table disputes involving food and different residents.

Naomi ate right along during all the interruptions. I had been giving her ongoing praise on how well she was doing. I also praised others at the table when they did well. They savored the attention, and Naomi wasn’t the least bit jealous. She had already told the others that I was her guest and even offered me food, which I declined. I hadn’t gone there to eat and couldn’t even think about eating if I had. When one resident was praised, another would often say, “Look at me. I’m eating, too.” This reminded me of students at my school who said the same thing when someone else was praised. I laughed, thinking the world was a universal classroom. Maybe the stars in the sky were created to be placed on billions of people’s foreheads when they did something praiseworthy.

© Frances Shani Parker, Author, Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes

My experience above is consistent with research findings on factors affecting independent eating among elderly patients with Alzheimer’s disease. Published in Geriatrics and Gerontology International, this Alzheimer's research study on independent eating is the first to generate objective data showing that difficulty in beginning a meal is a factor that hinders feeding independence by older adults with Alzheimer’s disease. The study also concludes that eliminating environmental interference factors and providing assistance promoting beginning a meal are necessary to assist older adults with Alzheimer’s disease.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

How to Be a Great Hospice Volunteer

How to Be a Great Hospice Volunteer 

By Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes

1)   Remember why you serve.

There’s a reason you feel compelled to enhance lives of the terminally ill. Cherish that inspiration. Move forward committed to an amazing and rewarding healthcare adventure.

2)   Believe it’s all win-win.

Providing end-of-life service is a privilege, not a calling to be a savior. You and those you support come together in relationships of mutual healing and growth. Honor your win-win journey.

3)   Be present.

By all means, show up. But be present with patients after you arrive. Evaluate appearances, behaviors, surroundings, and interactions with others. Listen with your heart. Even silence speaks. Really try to understand living from their perspectives. Focus on advocacy for improving their quality of life.

4)   Try other doors.

Patients will have challenges such as dementia that may not respond to your usual front-door communication. Try other doors and even windows. Obstacles are enrichment opportunities in your partnerships with patients. Touch, music, pictures, stories, and fantasies are a few entry points. Let patients help you navigate your way into their world.

5)   Know your piece in the puzzle.

Adherence to rules of protocol and professional ethics should be routine. Be aware of boundaries such as confidentiality regarding yourself, your patients, and their loved ones. Follow guidelines of your hospice organization, and seek help when needed.

6)   Untie your knots.

There may be times of doubt, confusion, sadness, and guilt. These are normal knots of the caregiving process. Untie them by seeking support for your total well-being. Maintain proper rest, nutrition, exercise, and balance in your life. Do your best. Don’t be surprised when you discover reasons to kiss yourself.

7)   Spread the word.

Be knowledgeable about hospice and palliative care. Share information so others can benefit from these specialized areas of healthcare. Encourage involvement in hospice and palliative care career and service activities.

8)   Pick up a turtle.

If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you know somebody helped to put it there. Be on the lookout for turtles aiming for fence posts. Be a role model for other volunteers. Participate in organizations, conferences, workshops, and discussion groups where you can share best practices while learning new ideas.

   

9)   Write death sentences.

Death will come no matter how often you avoid it or wrestle it to the ground. Have your advance directives, finances, and property in legal order. Urge others to do the same. Don’t burden loved ones later with important decisions you can record now. As you unfasten yourself from this life, be satisfied knowing your death sentences will be carried out according to your wishes.

  

10)  Expect rainbow smiles.

Rainbow smiles hug you so tightly you can feel ribs of joy press against your essence. Hospice volunteering provides ongoing moments for you to positively impact lives. When you make those connections happen, rainbow smiles will come.

© Frances Shani Parker

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

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