Community Service By Older Adults Living in Nursing Homes, Assisted Living

Lettie Miller Frye, an assisted living resident of Greenfield makes quilts to raise funds for the Edinburg Volunteer Fire Department. Photo by Rich Cooley/Northern Virginia Daily News

When I was writing my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes, I created a chapter about a nursing home called Baby Boomer Haven based on best practices of various nursing homes, but not nearly enough, around America. This imaginary nursing home includes older adults performing community service. In this book excerpt, Ruth, a wheelchair –riding resident, takes readers on a tour and explains some of the service activities they perform:

“At Baby Boomer Heaven, I mean Haven, we emphasize win-win community service. We’ve learned that when we join with the community and put all of our notes together, we create some fine songs. Of course, we appreciate service from others, but we want to serve people, too. We want to feel like we are doing our part to make the world a better place now and for future generations.

Our gift shop sells crafts we make to help fund service projects.  Among several services we provide, residents help Fetching Feasts provide meals delivered to seniors at their homes. We perform tasks here that make the process easier for them. We sew blankets for newborns. We often tutor and read to children at our childcare center."

Ruth goes on to explain other service activities in which residents demonstrate their reciprocal partnership with the local community. Do you have community service activities to share about residents in older adult communities?

If you would like to know more about positive and negative aspects of nursing home life and how families can transition loved ones to long-term care facilities, Jonathan Rosenfeld, writer of Nursing Homes Abuse Blog recommends ten helpful resources there that can assist you.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Grandparents as Parents (GAP): Help for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren (Video)

They thought they were finished living with children and definitely finished raising them. But that is not their reality. At a time when they are dealing with their own aging and illnesses, many grandparents and even some great grandparents are raising children. They belong to a growing population of older adults responsible for millions of children whose biological parents are not taking care of them. These caregivers never reached that cherished destination of unending childfree years after their own adult children left home. Even grandparents in their seventies are part of this widening circle.

Although we usually hear about couples or grandmothers raising their grandchildren, I have a male friend in his sixties who is raising his two grandchildren alone. Like many others, he is surprised that he has had to assume these life-changing responsibilities during the retirement years he planned most of his working life. Unfortunate circumstances usually are the cause of these unexpected caregiving roles. The amazing part, however, is how well many grandparents and grandchildren adjust to their new lifestyle changes. But the financial, physical, and emotional challenges involved can be very stressful. 

The Grandparents as Parents (GAP) program is a community based organization in the Los Angeles County area that provides emotional support, educational services, counseling, funding for social activities, and other resources for grandparents and their grandchildren. Other nonbiological caregivers rasing children are also assisted. Visit this AARP site for more information about support for grandparents raising grandchildren. 

This video titled “Grandparents Raising Kids” highlights the Henderson family:

Click here to view Great-Grandparents Raising Children: A Tribute (Video 2:42) The Cooks are great-grandparents who accepted the commitment and sacrifices of raising their great-grandson. 

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes(paperback, e-book)

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Children Talk About Grandparents and Dementia, Alzheimer's Disease (Video 6:30 mins.)

Dementia refers to a group of conditions that gradually destroy brain cells and lead to mental decline. Many conditions can cause dementia, but Alzheimer’s (Ahlz-high-merz) disease is the leading cause. Most people who have the disease are over sixty-five, with eighty being the average age of diagnosis.

So often, we hear about responses of adults regarding parents with dementia. But what is dementia like through the eyes of grandchildren? Imagine their emotions when a loved one forgets their names and can’t remember the relationship they have. What about the hurt feelings children experience when an agitated grandparent with dementia strikes out at them verbally or physically and they’ve done nothing to cause this?

Dementia must be explained to children in age-appropriate ways that can support them in their adjustments to the dementia of a grandparent. Listening to children’s concerns and encouraging them to express them are important. Family discussions can be helpful for everyone.

Parents should be aware of changes in children’s behavior at home and school. Children need reassurances that they are not the cause of a grandparent’s mood swings, that they are still loved by the grandparent who has an illness that sometimes interferes with the expression of that love. They should be reminded of the many good times in the past that they shared with a grandparent.

In this video, children talk about their experiences of having grandparents with dementia.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
"Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes”
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog