Wheelchair Rides: Caregiving Friendships (Research, Video 3:15)

For older adults living in institutions such as nursing homes, socializing with others can play a very important role in their quality of life. A hospice volunteer in various Detroit nursing homes for many years, I always knew wheelchair rides were a lot more than just moving residents around in mobile chairs. They provided great bonding moments that presented priceless occasions for us to learn interesting information about our personalities and pasts. Most of all, wheelchair rides gave residents opportunities to extend boundaries beyond their rooms to include other residents, staff, visitors, activities, stimulating sights, sounds and even smells. One hospice resident I had even used her wheelchair rides with me as opportunities to remind everybody that she was indeed still alive.

Quality of life, particularly social relationships, may be perceived differently according to residential settings. This research study on quality of life compared World Health Organization Quality of Life scores of elderly community-dwelling residents and nursing home residents. A sample of 207 older adults (135 community-dwelling residents, 72 nursing home residents) was evaluated. Among other conclusions, socialization in nursing homes was supported as a way to improve residents’ perceptions of quality of life.

This post would not be complete without mentioning Nat, a white man who initially expressed reluctance about being assigned to me, a black volunteer. We discussed the matter and decided to begin visitations anyway and see how things progressed. Nat had a wheelchair-riding contest with himself every time we returned to his room from outdoors. He briefly pushed his wheelchair fast to beat the door buzzer that went off when we entered from the porch. This was a race he always won. He never tired of playing this game or bragging about how fast he was every time he won.

People sitting in the lobby began to expect that when Nat and I entered from his wheelchair ride, there would be a lot of hoopla over his beating the buzzer. Laughing with triumph, he enjoyed celebrating his victory. After a few weeks, however, something interesting happened. Nat proudly and jokingly started telling everybody I was his wife, totally ignoring the reluctance he initially had about being assigned to a black volunteer. He admitted to me that his feelings had changed and that he looked forward to my weekly visits with wheelchair rides. Nat had underestimated the power of wheelchair rides and socialization.

A strong proponent of intergenerational partnerships, I am happy to share another example of wheelchair ride socialization displayed in the following video. The young teenage boy named Aidan Knau is a volunteer escort at the St. Cloud, Minnesota Veterans Administration Medical Center. That’s where he pushes wheelchairs for veterans and provides a whole lot more in positive bonding.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Nursing Home-School Similarities, Connections (Video 2:40)

Years ago, I was principal of a schoolwide, service-learning school where all staff and students performed service in the community. Students' service was connected to the school curriculum, giving them opportunities to use what they learned to improve the community. For example, fourth graders learned how to write biographies by interviewing residents of a local nursing home. Later, each resident was given a booklet with all the residents’ biographies so they could learn more about one another.

My own service included weekly hospice volunteering in Detroit, Michigan nursing homes. It didn’t take long before I observed that nursing homes and schools have several important similarities. Both have cultures that impact people in institutions. A paradigm shift in how these institutions are often perceived, not only by the public, but also by those who work in them, was long overdue. This needed transformation is often referred to as person-centered culture change, a movement that focuses on values and practices that respect the input of everyone involved with the institutions.

Through the eyes of an educator and hospice volunteer, I focused on person-centered care with residents. In order for a person-centered climate to fully enhance quality of life in nursing homes and other residential institutions for older adults, residents must have experiences similar to what students should have in schools. Like students, residents must first know that the nursing home is a real “home” where they are welcomed and cherished at all times. They must feel that their environments are safe, that trustworthy employees care about them and listen to them with their hearts. Residents must know that their progress as individuals with specialized needs is the primary motivation for everything that goes on. Those with dementia should be challenged to learn new skills in non-threatening ways.

Residents must know that the personal histories they bring matter. These life stories help create who they are, not labels like “dementia” which are too often used to judge them and put them in stereotypical categories during their later years. They need ongoing encouragement to use their strengths in productive ways to improve their self-esteem and enhance lives of others. Their talents and accomplishments should be shared with the larger group so they can be appreciated and praised. Finally, their “graduations” (deaths) should be recognized as revered events.

Sometimes older adult communities and schools have the great pleasure of bonding into something wonderful together. The following video features Providence Mount St. Vincent in Seattle, Washington. It is a typical community home to about 400 residents. What really sets this facility apart from many other communities like this is the preschool, the Intergenerational Learning Center, which provides children and older adults with opportunities to bond. These young children learn about acceptance of older adults while they are being nurtured. At the same time, the older adults develop a greater sense of self-worth and foster social interactions. That's a win-win relationship for everyone.

You can read about our fourth graders' nursing home research on ageism stereotypes here.

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Read “10 Rules of the Education Game for Educators” by Frances Shani Parker here.

Note: Winner of the National Service-Learning Partnership Trailblazer Award, Frances Shani Parker, a hospice volunteer, writer, and eldercare consultant has been instrumental in implementing service-learning in school districts across the country.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Win-Win Hospice Volunteering

By Frances Shani Parker

1) Remember why you serve.

There’s a reason you feel compelled to enhance lives of the terminally ill. Cherish that inspiration. Move forward committed to an amazing and rewarding healthcare adventure.

2) Believe it’s all win-win.

Providing end-of-life service is a privilege, not a calling to be a savior. You and those you support come together in relationships of mutual improvement. Honor your win-win journey.

3) Be present.

By all means, show up. But be present with patients after you arrive. Evaluate appearances, behaviors, surroundings, and interactions with others. Listen with your heart. Even silence speaks. Really try to understand life from their perspectives. Focus on advocacy for improving their quality of living.

4) Try other doors.

Patients will have challenges such as dementia that may not respond to your usual front-door communication. Try other doors and even windows. Obstacles are enrichment opportunities in your partnerships with patients. Touch, music, pictures, stories, and fantasies are a few entry points. Let patients help you navigate your way into their world.

5) Know your piece in the puzzle.

Adherence to rules of protocol and professional ethics should be routine. Be aware of boundaries such as confidentiality regarding yourself, your patients, and their loved ones. Follow guidelines of your hospice organization, and seek help when needed.

6) Untie your knots.

There may be times of doubt, confusion, sadness, and guilt. These are normal knots of the caregiving process. Untie them by seeking support for your total well-being. Maintain proper rest, nutrition, exercise, and balance in your own life. Do your best. Don’t be surprised when you discover reasons to kiss yourself.

7) Spread the word.

Be knowledgeable about hospice and palliative care. Share information so others can benefit from these specialized areas of healthcare. Encourage involvement in hospice and palliative care career and service activities.

8) Pick up a turtle.

If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you know somebody helped to put it there. Be on the lookout for turtles aiming for fence posts. Be a role model for other volunteers. Participate in organizations, conferences, workshops, and discussion groups where you can share best practices while learning new ideas.

9) Write death sentences.

Death will come no matter how often you avoid it or wrestle it to the ground. Have your advance directives, finances, and property in legal order. Urge others to do the same. Don’t burden loved ones later with important decisions you can record now. As you unfasten yourself from this life, be satisfied knowing your death sentences will be carried out according to your wishes.

10) Expect rainbow smiles.

Rainbow smiles hug you so tightly you can feel ribs of joy press against your essence. Hospice volunteering provides ongoing experiences for you to positively impact lives. When you do, rainbow smiles will come.

© Frances Shani Parker, author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice Volunteer Training Video: Caregiving, Dementia, Death, More (Video 30:16)

Frances Shani Parker, an eldercare consultant, writer and former school principal, has been a dedicated hospice volunteer for many years. In addition to serving nursing home residents, she is author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes (paperback, e-book) and writes a popular blog titled Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog. Featured in various eldercare media, she was interviewed on the television show Aging Well in America. She shares her experiences and general eldercare information that can benefit others, especially hospice and other healthcare volunteers. The video interview below covers these topics:

Hospice

Hospice Volunteer Training

Nursing Homes (Long-Term Care)

Volunteering

Caregiving

Dementia

Death Preparations

Intergenerational Partnerships

Older Adult Stereotypes

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and in e-book editions at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

How to Be a Great Hospice Volunteer

How to Be a Great Hospice Volunteer 

By Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes

1)   Remember why you serve.

There’s a reason you feel compelled to enhance lives of the terminally ill. Cherish that inspiration. Move forward committed to an amazing and rewarding healthcare adventure.

2)   Believe it’s all win-win.

Providing end-of-life service is a privilege, not a calling to be a savior. You and those you support come together in relationships of mutual healing and growth. Honor your win-win journey.

3)   Be present.

By all means, show up. But be present with patients after you arrive. Evaluate appearances, behaviors, surroundings, and interactions with others. Listen with your heart. Even silence speaks. Really try to understand living from their perspectives. Focus on advocacy for improving their quality of life.

4)   Try other doors.

Patients will have challenges such as dementia that may not respond to your usual front-door communication. Try other doors and even windows. Obstacles are enrichment opportunities in your partnerships with patients. Touch, music, pictures, stories, and fantasies are a few entry points. Let patients help you navigate your way into their world.

5)   Know your piece in the puzzle.

Adherence to rules of protocol and professional ethics should be routine. Be aware of boundaries such as confidentiality regarding yourself, your patients, and their loved ones. Follow guidelines of your hospice organization, and seek help when needed.

6)   Untie your knots.

There may be times of doubt, confusion, sadness, and guilt. These are normal knots of the caregiving process. Untie them by seeking support for your total well-being. Maintain proper rest, nutrition, exercise, and balance in your life. Do your best. Don’t be surprised when you discover reasons to kiss yourself.

7)   Spread the word.

Be knowledgeable about hospice and palliative care. Share information so others can benefit from these specialized areas of healthcare. Encourage involvement in hospice and palliative care career and service activities.

8)   Pick up a turtle.

If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you know somebody helped to put it there. Be on the lookout for turtles aiming for fence posts. Be a role model for other volunteers. Participate in organizations, conferences, workshops, and discussion groups where you can share best practices while learning new ideas.

   

9)   Write death sentences.

Death will come no matter how often you avoid it or wrestle it to the ground. Have your advance directives, finances, and property in legal order. Urge others to do the same. Don’t burden loved ones later with important decisions you can record now. As you unfasten yourself from this life, be satisfied knowing your death sentences will be carried out according to your wishes.

  

10)  Expect rainbow smiles.

Rainbow smiles hug you so tightly you can feel ribs of joy press against your essence. Hospice volunteering provides ongoing moments for you to positively impact lives. When you make those connections happen, rainbow smiles will come.

© Frances Shani Parker

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice, Long-Term Care, and Dementia Quiz

Hospice, Long-Term Care, and Dementia Quiz

What's your response to these statements?

By Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes

               

1)   Death is a terrible thing.

Fact: Death is a natural part of life that everyone will experience. Accept, discuss, and prepare for becoming dead in your future.

2)   It’s always better to die at home.

Fact: “Home” can be the presence of love and comfort wherever a terminally ill patient may be. Most people die in institutions.

3)   Hospice speeds up death.

Fact: If two similar people had the same terminal illness, the one receiving hospice care would probably live longer.

4)   Pain is a natural part of aging and dying. Under-treated pain slows down the death process.

Fact: Pain medication is available to offer appropriate relief to patients. Under-treated pain worsens the process unnecessarily.

5)   Patients with dementia don’t miss visits from relatives and friends they don’t recognize.

Fact: Patients with dementia are often aware of their surroundings on some level. Loved ones should focus on patients’ current abilities and make every effort to spend quality time with them.

6)   Patients with dementia are always suffering.

Fact: Patients with dementia have varied days like everyone else. Happy memories and enriching activities can slow-dance into their realities and fill them with joy.

7)   Caregivers must only focus on their patients.

Fact: Caregivers must focus on their own care as well. They should seek supportive resources and monitor their sleep habits, irritability, and general health, always with a willingness to seek help when needed.

8)   Caregivers should not question decisions of healthcare professionals who are the experts.

Fact: Caregivers should be proactive as patient advocates. They should stay informed about patients’ symptoms, diseases, treatment purposes, and side effects.

9)   Long-term care facilities are not good places for children to visit.

Fact: Intergenerational experiences help children understand life’s passages. Children should experience opportunities that encourage them to become nurturing people, eliminate ageism stereotypes, and expose them to possible career choices.

10) Hospice work is mostly depressing.

Fact: Millions of hospice workers view their involvement with patients as privileged occasions for mutual growth and fulfillment.

© Frances Shani Parker

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog