Older Adult Technology Use (Research, Video 3:14)

I remember when I had to dial a phone number to access the Internet. Technology has come a mighty long way. My early computers all had names, and I vented my frustrations to them personally when they harassed me daily with their complicated maneuvers. Sapphire, an overbearing laptop of a woman loved, hated, and tormented me with a vengeance that forced me to write poems about our ongoing squabbles. With all these haunting memories, however, I still must confess that mastering the basics and more has been one of the best things I have ever done and continue to do. 

Every day, I see important examples of how I would have been left behind if I had not taken advantage of opportunities to navigate my way on the Internet, even basically. When TV news reporters make comments about going “to our website for more information" about disaster assistance, product recalls, high crime and accident locations, etc., I am reminded of all the people who are unable to receive these services on their own and probably worry about what they are missing. 

Research on older adults reports that those who continue using the Internet are more likely to gain significant cognitive improvement. Even though numerous public facilities offer free or inexpensive technology classes for using computers, smart phones, etc., too many older adults have refused to try them or have given up by saying, “I don’t do all that computer stuff. It’s just too confusing.”

Research results conclude that "older adults who continue using the Internet were more likely to gain significant cognitive gains and lower cognitive loss. Promoting Internet use in older adults can help a strategy for cognitive stimulation in older adults."

The following video shares important statistics on how older adults use technology to meet and expand their information needs:

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Older Adult LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Issues (Research, Video 3:30)

There is no question that older adults who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) belong to a population subjected often to adverse discrimination in society and experience unique health needs. Approximately 2.7 million U.S. older adults self-identify as being members of this population. Many feel unsafe revealing their sexual orientation and may not be willing to reveal their sexual orientation to their medical providers. Institutions that focus on providing them with support must implement more staff development and dissemination of homophobia training and policy changes that positively impact older adult LGBT quality of life.

A research study was done to increase understanding of the experiences and needs of older LGBT adults when accessing healthcare. Results of the study included three major themes. The themes were "Outness," "Things are Different Now," and "Additional Resources." These themes describe participants comfort with being "out," how treatment they received changed over time, and needed services or other options from the community. Healthcare providers must be prepared to create trusting relationships with these individuals to deliver truly comprehensive care.

Aging adds another layer of concerns for those in the older adult LGBT community. Like millions of others in this quickly expanding population, they must think about where and how they will live. This includes serious concerns about discrimination and bullying targeting them in senior communities. This video features LGBTsenior issues related to discrimination in long-term care homes.

 

 

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Good Death Views: Patients, Relatives, Healthcare Providers (Research, Video 1:40)

Improving quality of life should be an ongoing goal, even as death approaches. While many embrace thoughts of having a good death, what exactly do they mean at personal levels? What do patients, relatives, general practitioners, and other healthcare providers mean when they speak of dying in a good way when recovery is no longer available? The following research on a good death explains their responses.

Research participants were asked how important patients, close relatives, and healthcare providers considered 11 core themes in defining a good death. Specific questionnaires were used for each group and distributed in the working area of a palliative care network with the cooperation of five local quality groups, two nursing homes, and two groups of home care nurses. Data were analyzed. The following results were reported:

     1. All groups believed a pain-free death was most significant.

     2. General practitioners, nurses, patients, and close relatives valued the       following themes: support of family, respect for patient as an individual, being able to say goodbye, and euthanasia in case of unbearable suffering.

     3. Major differences between general practitioners and nurses deserve      attention because patients and family members expect that healthcare providers will work together as a team.

What about you and your own personal expectations of a good death beyond being pain-free? In this video, several people share their opinions on what a good death means to them:

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Mardi Gras Celebration with Older Adult Seniors (Video 3:36)

Mardi Gras celebrations are common in older adult communities around the world. It's a great time for fantasy, dancing, food and fun! Through the years, I have had the good fortune of witnessing entertaining Mardi Gras merriment enhancing quality of life. I store all my Mardi Gras memories in a marvelous, mental, treasure chest painted with purple, green and gold brush strokes, the official colors of Mardi Gras. I always smile when I look inside. No doubt, amused older adults will be smiling this Mardi Gras 2020 and many Mardi Gras seasons to come.

Older adults celebrating this world-famous Carnival season often have numerous parades, balls, and parties starting on January 6th. In many places, parades are held during the day and at night until the biggest celebration on Mardi Gras day. Mardi Gras day, known also as “Fat Tuesday,” falls on the day before the Christian season of Lent starts. It can fall on any Tuesday between February 3rd and March 9th. These are upcoming Mardi Gras dates:

February 25, 2020
February 16, 2021
March 1, 2022
February 21, 2023
February 13, 2024
March 4, 2025
February 17, 2026
February 9, 2027

Featured on my blog this year in the video below is “Dancing with the Seniors Mardi Gras Edition” presented by Nexion Health affiliates, New Iberia Manor South, Village Creek Rehabilitation Nursing Center, and Reliant Rehabilitation. Join them in a wonderful Mardi Gras celebration. The party has already started!

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Friendships, Stereotypes (Older Adult Research, Video 1:51)

Children as young as three years old have already started internalizing negative stereotypes about aging. A quick review of media portrayals of older adults and comments from people about them are great teachers for young impressionable minds. A greater problem, however, is that too many of the negative stereotypes young people internalize can stay with them throughout their own aging and unconsciously become embedded in their own lifestyles.

A common stereotype about aging is the portrayal of older adults as being lonely with little social support. Can expectations about aging impact friendships? Research focused on the relationship between positive aging expectations and later life friendships was done to explore these connections. This study examined questionnaire data from the Baltimore Experience Corps Trial, a randomized volunteer intervention for adults aged 60 years and older. Associations between expectations about aging and different types of social support were tested with these results:

1) Participants with more positive expectations at baseline increased their number of friends two years later and had greater overall perceived support availability twelve months later.

2) Only participants with at least average perceived support availability at baseline showed an association between expectations and later support availability.

These results are the first to link overall positive expectations regarding aging to the social domain. They confirm that overall expectations regarding aging can impact older adults, not only physically and cognitively, but also socially.

Shouldn’t we all just affirm our own healthy aging by promoting positive images about ourselves? Shouldn’t we just live our best lives and not limit ourselves based on our age numbers? Meet Millie and Evelyn who met at the retirement home where they live and quickly became best friends. In this video, they talk about the importance of friendships as they age.

You can view research performed by Detroit public school fourth graders on older adult stereotypes here. Their research was presented locally and nationally.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Rosa Parks and the Omen Poem by Frances Shani Parker

      

A former Detroit Public Schools administrator at Rosa Parks Middle School in Michigan, I was fortunate to have spent time with Rosa Parks when she visited our school.

Rosa Parks and the Omen
By Frances Shani Parker

Greatness arrived when Rosa Parks
visited her namesake school.
I hung up her coat, knelt to remove
snow-covered boots from feet
that had walked, marched, scattered
footprints over racial injustice.
We laughed at our similar names
when she mistakenly signed her photo
“To Frances Parks,” not Frances Parker.
I felt an omen of kinship between us.

Her arrest for remaining in a bus seat
designated by law for white people
gave rise to the civil rights movement.
Years later, my own Detroit arrest
forced the opening of district centers
for students left after school hours.
When colleagues called me Rosa Parks,
my heart warmed with cherished
memories of a historic woman’s photo
with an omen of kinship that came true.

Passage of time brings slow endings.
I still encounter white privilege practices,
judgment through negative stereotypes,
ongoing news of systemic racial bias
in this divided country many call great.
But I remember proudly a warrior woman
who defended our human dignity
on a Montgomery, Alabama bus.
I honor her commitment, her courage,
her kinship with America’s oppressed.

Rosa Louise McCauley Parks (1913–2005) became an American pioneer of the civil rights movement when she was arrested for refusing to give up her bus seat to a white man on December 1, 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama. After decades of mass protests, bus segregation and related injustices were ruled unconstitutional. Rosa Parks received the U.S. Congressional Gold Medal in 1999.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice Volunteer Success Secrets

Hospice Volunteer Success Secrets by Frances Shani Parker, Author of 

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in  Urban Nursing Homes

1)   Remember why you serve.

There’s a reason you feel compelled to enhance lives of the terminally ill. Cherish that inspiration. Move forward committed to an amazing and rewarding healthcare adventure.

2)   Believe it’s all win-win.

Providing end-of-life service is a privilege, not a calling to be a savior. You and those you support come together in relationships of mutual healing and growth. Honor your win-win journey.

3)   Be present.

By all means, show up. But be present with patients after you arrive. Evaluate appearances, behaviors, surroundings, and interactions with others. Listen with your heart. Even silence speaks. Really try to understand life from their perspectives. Focus on advocacy for improving their quality of life.

4)   Try other doors.

Patients will have challenges such as dementia that may not respond to your usual front-door communication. Try other doors and even windows. Obstacles are enrichment opportunities in your partnerships with patients. Touch, music, pictures, stories, and fantasies are a few entry points. Let patients help you navigate your way into their world.

5)   Know your piece in the puzzle.

Adherence to rules of protocol and professional ethics should be routine. Be aware of boundaries such as confidentiality regarding yourself, your patients, and their loved ones. Follow guidelines of your hospice organization, and seek help when needed.

6)   Untie your knots.

There may be times of doubt, confusion, sadness, and guilt. These are normal knots of the caregiving process. Untie them by seeking support for your total well-being. Maintain proper rest, nutrition, exercise, and balance in your life. Do your best. Don’t be surprised when you discover reasons to kiss yourself.

7)   Spread the word.

Be knowledgeable about hospice and palliative care. Share information so others can benefit from these specialized areas of healthcare. Encourage involvement in hospice and palliative care career and service activities.

8)   Pick up a turtle.

If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you know somebody helped to put it there. Be on the lookout for turtles aiming for fence posts. Be a role model for other volunteers. Participate in organizations, discussion groups, workshops, and conferences where you can share best practices while learning new ideas.

   

9)   Write death sentences.

Death will come no matter how often you avoid it or wrestle it to the ground. Have your advance directives, finances, and property in legal order. Urge others to do the same. Don’t burden loved ones later with important decisions you can record now. As you unfasten yourself from this life, be satisfied knowing your death sentences will be carried out according to your wishes.

  

10)  Expect rainbow smiles.

Rainbow smiles hug you so tightly you can feel ribs of joy press against your essence. Hospice volunteering provides ongoing moments for you to positively impact lives. When you make those connections happen, rainbow smiles will come.

© Frances Shani Parker

You can read about my personal journey in becoming a hospice volunteer without realizing I was one here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/hospice-volunteer-me-frances-shani-parker?trk=mp-author-card

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Life Lesson From Dogs to Humans (Video 3:49)

A hospice volunteer over 20 years, I am featuring this post about dogs because it resonates on so many levels with human lives. We all die, but do we really strive to live life to the fullest? This post about mostly elderly, ill, rescued dogs shows us how to enjoy life. The dogs are showcased in a heartwarming video, actually a “dogumentary,” titled "Seven Days with Seven Dogs." Their story mesmerizes with a universal message for humans who are terminally ill, in good health, elderly or young.

Living at a refuge similar to a canine nursing home, the dogs struggle with health challenges ranging from deafness, epilepsy, hip dysplasia, heart murmur, and a lymphatic mass on one “hospice” dog predicted to live only a few more weeks. They experience serious life challenges just like humans do. The dogs' caregivers decide it is high time these canine seniors smell the roses we humans often forget to smell. Taking all the dogs on an adventurous trip to dog-friendly locations immersed in nature becomes a fantastic solution. We humans must search the wells of ourselves to find our own purposes and pleasures.

Regarding eldercare, this "dogumentary" encourages quality caregiving that should take place with ill, older adult humans, many who have supported others unconditionally for years. For seven days, join this soul-stirring, dog-centered trip where floral fragrances permeate the air, where wounded spirits soar, and where we are all reminded at personal levels that the best things in life are not things. Let's enjoy ourselves! Have some fun! It’s later than we think.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

End-of-Life, Afterlife Views (Research, Video 2:28)

Older adults have several perspectives regarding life after the death of a loved one. Their perspectives can be used by nurses to improve their insights regarding the care they give hospice patients. End-of-life research on how the death of a significant other influenced older adults' perspectives about their own end-of-life is helpful. 

This research involved 15 older adults residing in a continuing care retirement community. Their challenges in losing a loved one revealed these four themes:

1)    Peacefully-slip away with no heroics

2)    Familiarity-making plans that stick

3)    Tying up loose ends-what's left to do

4)    Accepting-my time is up.

This study implies that nurses with medical providers should openly discuss with older adults their end-of-life concerns and care desired.

Curious about what my own hospice patient’s perspective was about life beyond death, I asked her about that and included our conversation in my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer inUrban Nursing Homes. I refer to life after death as the Other Side of Through.

Many people believe in life after death. For them, death is a comma, a pause proceeded by a dash into another dimension of life. Others say that life as we know it while living is all there is to existence. They consider death to be a period at the end of the final sentence in their life stories.

One day, my patient named Mabel (pseudonym) received a birthday card from her church members. This led to an interesting conversation about life after death.

“Were you active in your church?” I asked.

“Well, not too much. I helped out with a few fundraising activities like the annual church bazaar. I usually worked at the ticket booth. I didn’t want to be too active because I have my own personal views about religion. I don’t see religion the way most of my church people see it, so I stayed kind of low-key. Religion is fine, but I don’t believe in God. I only believe in Jesus.”

“Really? Why is that?”

“Jesus was a person in real life. People saw him and wrote down what he did and what he said as part of history. I know that Jesus existed. He was right there walking and talking in front of people. Nobody can deny that. But God is different. Nobody has really seen him. Nobody knows how he looks or even what he is. That’s why I don’t believe in God. But I definitely believe in my Jesus.”

“What about heaven, Mabel? What do you think of that?”

“If there is no God, then there is no heaven. It wouldn’t make sense to have a heaven without God. That’s how I see it.”

“What do you think happens after people die?”

“What do I think happens? Nothing. They get buried, and their problems are over. Their problems end, and ours continue.”

© Frances Shani Parker

Mabel’s belief about life after death is one of numerous opinions that people have. Many have thought about the possibility of immortality. They connect it with a soul, reward, and punishment. Some have lived their lives according to those beliefs. For those who believe in an afterlife, there is often a spiritual motivation linked with nature’s cycles of birth and death. They embrace the mystery with faith and decide there is no spiritual death, only a change in their immortal soul’s experience.

Of course, there are others who say they don’t know what to believe. Scientific research on near-death experiences and other death-related phenomena continues to accumulate data to shed new light on discussions about life after death. Ultimately, people have to decide for themselves what they want to believe.

Suzanne Newcombe, lecturer in religious studies at The Open University says, “We are profoundly ignorant about many things in life. What happens after death is just one of them.” This video further explains people’s beliefs about death and the afterlife.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer inUrban Nursing Homes
is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Christmas in May (Hospice Volunteer Story)

A hospice volunteer in Detroit nursing homes for many years, I shared a wonderful Christmas in May with my ninety-two year old patient. Sometimes patients needed me to help them solve problems. One day, Inez and I had an especially great visit. I had been thinking about how to find the key for a music box her niece had given her for Christmas. She loved that music box and liked to have it on display, so she would have a good excuse to talk about it. She had never heard it play because the key was missing when she received it. She said her niece had tried to find a key, but with no success.

The music box was a lovely piece of handiwork. A wooden base supported a clear glass container. Inside the container lay a beautiful butterfly resting on a small floral bouquet. Underneath the box was a hidden switch that made the seasonal display enchant with spurts of brightness. Inez said that she often sat and watched the softly glowing scene blink on and off. One night, she and I quietly watched it together. That's when I realized how much this silent little music maker meant to her. Unfortunately, neither of us knew what song it was supposed to play. We imagined the Christmas song we thought it should play and hoped one day we could solve the mystery.

Getting the music box to play became my project, but I knew I would need some help. The next day, I explained the problem to Burton, a teacher at the school where I was principal. He decided to become a part of the solution by checking out some stores that might have the missing key. It sounded like the search for Cinderella's shoe. After looking for two weeks, Burton finally found a matching key at a large toy store. The sales lady was so touched by his story about Inez's "musicless" box that she gave him the key free of charge. We couldn't believe our good fortune which became Inez's thrill maker.

In the second week of May with spring showing off nature's fashion makeover from winter, Inez heard her cherished music box play for the very first time. She picked it up gently and carefully placed it near her hearing aid. The song we had wondered about for months, the song that had driven us to discover its name finally played the sweetest version of "Joy to the World." Just hearing the music box fulfill its purpose felt like a miracle. Inez grinned widely, thanked me, and told me to thank the nice man who found the missing key that made her music box come alive.

The mystery had been solved, and Inez was ecstatic. I thought nothing else that day could outdo the pleasure of hearing the music box play, but I was wrong. After Inez set her mechanical miracle on the window sill, so we could admire it playing and revolving, something wonderful occurred that surprised us: The brightly colored butterfly started moving, slowing creeping up to the opening red flower. Inez and I gave each other eerie "Twilight Zone" looks. Then we shared rainbow smiles about the joy in our own little world.

© Frances Shani Parker (Excerpt from Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Home)

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Gratitude Improves Health (Research, Video 2:07)

Gratitude. Do you know how powerful it is when you extend gratitude and receive it? Psychologists call our declarations of gratitude "other-praising emotions" that build bridges connecting us to people and experiences that promote good feelings. As thankful people praising our benefactors, we create something glorious and special together, something akin to a soul-smacking thanks.

Research on gratitude reveals that gratitude practices are shown to reduce stress and fear, improve sleep, and increase positive emotions and overall well-being. Participants in CaringBridge (CB), a web-based social network online community were engaged in a daily, 21-day brief gratitude practice and were given weekly automated reminders to do their practice. Nearly 70% self-reported engaging in the gratitude practice five or more days each week. Participants reported statistically significant improvement in all outcomes, including stress, gratitude, and social support.

This video shares even more information that can help people with practicing gratitude. It explains specific ways to improve our own attitudes of gratitude, even rewire our brains and be thankful that we did.

 

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Personality and Dementia (Alzheimer’s Research, Video 2:58)

Personality can be defined as the combination of qualities that form our distinctive character. It includes our presence, charisma, persona that define our nature and makeup. Like everyone else, people living with Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia, have personalities. I have experienced many of their positive and negative personality traits in my role as a hospice volunteer in urban nursing homes and through living life in general.

How is personality connected with dementia? Research on personality and Alzheimer’s disease reveals the following information:

1) Individuals who score higher on conscientiousness (more responsible and self-disciplined) and lower on neuroticism (less anxious and vulnerable to stress) have a reduced risk of developing dementia.

2) With the onset and progression of dementia, there are large changes in personality that are reported consistently by caregivers in retrospective studies and are consistent with the clinical criteria for the diagnosis of dementia.

These implications of personality research are important for identifying those people who are at greater risk of Alzheimer’s disease and the potential of personality-tailored interventions aimed at the prevention and treatment of the disease.

The following video explains how symptoms of dementia get progressively worse and affect a person’s ability to do everyday tasks. The inability to complete tasks can lead to frustration and affect their moods and behaviors. Certain personality traits can also become more prominent. For example, if people with dementia were always viewed as nice, they may become nicer as the disease progresses. On the other hand, if they were always suspicious, they may become paranoid. Wandering is another issue that is also briefly explained in the video.

Frances Shani Parker
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Older Adult Senior Online Dating: Ageism, Sexism, Scams (Research, Video 4:35)

Contrary to what some people still believe, many older adults are using the Internet to enhance their lives in ways they never dreamed about “back in the day.” In fact, many of them have considered or actually used the Internet as a convenient place to search for love on numerous websites with a specific focus on meeting their matchmaking needs.

What are some of these online dating websites adding to the old traditions of choosing romantic partners? This older adult online dating research study that examines the visual representations of people on 39 dating sites offers this information:

1) Ageism and sexism were very evident in the presentation of older adults. The majority of men and women were smiling and had a fair complexion, light eye color and perceived ages younger than 60. Older women were presented as younger and wore more cosmetics.

2) The social regulation of sexuality was emphasized with only heterosexual couples being presented.

Conclusion: This ageism and sexism display a narrow representation of older adults in society and imply that older love, intimacy, and sexual activity are for older adults who are "forever young."

Older women are at a disadvantage when it comes to online dating if they seek partners only in their age groups. Not only are there fewer men alive in their age group, many of the living ones want younger women. If you think this makes women desperate to marry whatever they can get, you don't know jack about older women. While they may still be open to the possibility of marriage, many women cherish their lifestyles free of various responsibilities.

Unfortunately, there is one aspect of online dating that everyone should be cautioned about in order to proceed safely. Both sexes can be victimized by online dating scams. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) received more than 15,000 reports linked to romance scams last year. More than half of the complaints involved losses of money, sometimes in massive amounts. The victims are often older Americans trying to get back in the dating pool. This video shares important information including the story of one of the victims who lost roughly $300,000.

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog