First Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) SAGE Center for Older Adults, Seniors (Video 1:34)

America’s first full-service center for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) older adults is located in New York City. The Services and Advocacy of GLBT Elders (SAGE) Center opened earlier this year and serves the city's five boroughs. Members receive help with everything from health and wellness to meals and technology. For many of them, the center represents a place for “family” relationships missing due to lack of biological family support because of their sexual orientation.

LGBT older adults and other sexual minorities have increasingly been discriminated against and abused by members of society, including healthcare providers and others who resent them because of their sexual orientation. Damage to their emotional and physical health has been so devastating that some members of this population have resorted to suicide. Singlehood and lack of children by most people in this community add further to their sense of isolation.

There are SAGE Center opponents who say having a separate center for LGBT populations and promoting their philosophy is wrong and against the principles of equality, especially if any taxpayer funds are used to support it. On the other hand, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg says it's time to change the "one-size-fits-all" approach that has traditionally shaped senior centers. SAGE is one of several organizations awarded an Innovative Senior Center contract by the mayor’s office and the New York City Department for the Aging. Do you think the LGBT community should have separate centers?

View more information about the SAGE Center on this video titled NYC Opens Full-Service LGBT Senior Center:

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice Volunteer Training Video: Caregiving, Dementia, Death, More (Video 30:16)

Frances Shani Parker, an eldercare consultant, writer and former school principal, has been a dedicated hospice volunteer for many years. In addition to serving nursing home residents, she is author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes (paperback, e-book) and writes a popular blog titled Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog. Featured in various eldercare media, she was interviewed on the television show Aging Well in America. She shares her experiences and general eldercare information that can benefit others, especially hospice and other healthcare volunteers. The video interview below covers these topics:

Hospice

Hospice Volunteer Training

Nursing Homes (Long-Term Care)

Volunteering

Caregiving

Dementia

Death Preparations

Intergenerational Partnerships

Older Adult Stereotypes

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and in e-book editions at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Alzheimer’s Sundown Syndrome Support: Adult Night Care (Video 9:03)

Sundown is usually time to wind down and embrace the peaceful restoration that comes with night. For 20% of older adults with Alzheimer’s disease, however, sundown means just the opposite. They experience a phenomenon known as sundown syndrome when expectations and energy levels rise to greet new excitement and activities. Caregivers reluctantly face another nightly challenge of interrupted or nonexistent sleep caused by constant monitoring. When sleep does come, worries about the safety of loved ones invade their dreams.

While adult day care programs are popular, many people could benefit greatly if they had more night care support designed for people who are living at home and require constant supervision during the night. ElderServ at Night, located at the Hebrew Home at Riverdale in New York, is such a program. They accept Medicaid, and they also have a day program.

Adult night care is particularly helpful for people who suffer with sundown syndrome or other sleep disturbances that keep them awake during the night when they may become anxious and fearful without activities to keep them occupied. The night care program relieves caregivers of stress and allows them to sleep well knowing that their loved ones are being cared for throughout the night. This video showcases ElderServ at Night.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions at many booksellers in America and other countries. Two online booksellers are Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Certified Nursing Assistants (CNA’s), Healthcare Staff Workplace Injuries (Long-Term Care Research, Video 3:01)

Some people have jobs that seldom require discussions about workplace injuries. The possibility of getting injured is viewed as the potential result of a rare incident not associated with normal job requirements or physical confrontation with other people. A former school principal, I have had my share of incidents breaking up students' fights and calming overly disgruntled parents. Using a planned prevention approach, I was usually successful at avoiding serious injury to myself.

As a hospice volunteer in nursing homes, I noticed early on that schools and nursing homes have a lot in common.  In both locations, the daily risks of workplace injuries due to combative or non-combative reasons were real for many workers. The following is an excerpt from my book Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes that explains shared similarities between schools and nursing homes regarding potential workplace  injuries caused by physical assaults.

“Dementia is like a fluttering bee. I never knew when it would make honey or sting. There were times when patients with dementia were rude or violent. I have seen a patient slap a nursing assistant’s face with such force I thought she would fall over. To her credit, the CNA took a deep breath and walked away while another assistant interceded. The patient  probably forgot the incident soon afterward. During violent situations involving patients with dementia, caregivers had to protect themselves, restrain a patient if they could, but resist expressing rage and fighting back.”

Nurses and certified nursing assistants (CNA’s) have many documented occurrences of non-combative workplace injuries related to their care of patients. In a Colorado workplace injuries study done with 35 individuals from the State Board of Nursing public list of CNA’s, they were surveyed about their work injuries and the circumstances under which the injuries occurred. Almost 46% of the respondents reported having hurt themselves while lifting, moving, or helping a patient, with 40% specifically reporting having incurred a back injury. Eleven of the injured respondents (79%) were working in nursing homes at the time the injury occurred. This indicates a need for more research and education for CNA’s about injury prevention, particularly in nursing home environments. 

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America  and other countries and in e-book form at Amazon booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Influenza Vaccinations (Flu Shots) for Nursing Home Residents and Everyone (Research, Video .31)

Fall is a time when the topic of influenza vaccines or flu shots becomes prevalent. Many communities make flu shots available for older adults. A large population believes the vaccine reduces the risk of dying in nursing homes. 

How well are nursing home residents improved by flu shots? Research reported in the Journals of Gerontology shows a lot depends on residents’ functional status. In a study done over several months with 711 nursing home residents, participants were divided into these categories: good functioning, intermediate functioning, and poor functioning. In terms of functionality, influenza vaccination was associated with reduced all-cause mortality in older nursing home residents with different functional statuses. Influenza vaccine efficacy in reducing mortality declined with increasingly impaired functional status.

What about the importance of flu shots for the rest of the population? The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is a US government agency focused on improving overall public health. This agency advises everyone to get a flu shot. For many, this is still a controversial issue.  Some say the shots are safe, convenient, and may save lives. Others say they are not safe for some people, do not guarantee people won’t get the flu, may have side effects, and may even cause people to get the flu (not true because viruses are dead). What do you think?

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

After Cremation: Rituals, Storage, Disposal of Ashes (Cremains)--Research, Video 1:43

Although unique funerals continue to increase in popularity, cremation is definitely in the mainstream these days as a method of body disposal. People are finding interesting ways to dispose ashes or cremains of loved ones.

Traditionally, cremains are often stored by families who keep them in urns and other containers that vary in their uniqueness. These may include vases with pedestals or even personalized teddy bears with hidden pouches. Teddy bears can be sewn from the deceased person’s clothes. Among other uses, cremains are being used in jewelry, shotgun shells, and fireworks. In terms of destinations, cremains can be stored in cemetery plots, mausoleum, or scattered in a garden or body of water. For $5,300 cremains can be sent aloft into outer space, while $13,000 can send them into luna orbit.

One research study on cremation focused on how 87 people described their experiences with cremation, cremains disposal, and rituals regarding  their deceased loved ones. How did they view the experience? They felt the experiences were positive. Most research participants preferred to be cremated and honored through nontraditional rituals themselves.

With so many choices available, people should make plans in advance regarding disposal of their cremains if they choose to be cremated. In this video titled Scattering Parents’ Ashes, a daughter fulfills her deceased parents’ dream of world travel. View the unusual way she accomplishes this that includes many other people. If you choose to be cremated, what would you want to happen to your cremains after death?

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Hospice-Palliative Care Volunteer Retention: Know How to Hold Them (Research)

                           Miss Ruby with Hospice Volunteer Frances Shani Parker

You’re a hospice-palliative care volunteer coordinator with a volunteer quota you’re always striving to maintain. Can secrets to keeping them be found in this research reported in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care?

In this study, the 33-item Volunteer Retention Questionnaire was used to determine what really motivates volunteers to keep doing this work that baffled onlookers often tell us must be depressing. (If they only knew how much we enjoy it!) With responses from 119 hospice-palliative care volunteers from three community-based hospice programs, these were the results of how volunteers rated the importance of items in their decisions to keep on volunteering:

1)   First and foremost, they enjoyed the work itself. (Imagine that!)

2)   They felt adequately prepared/trained to perform their duties. (Coordinators, you’re doing a good job here!)

3)   They learned from their patients’ experiences and from listening to their stories. (Remember listen and learn?)

An interesting result is that being recognized (service pins, newsletters, etc.), volunteer coordinator phone calls and cards, and reimbursement for out-of-pocket expenses were among the lowest rated in retention importance. Personally, I think this speaks to the sincere and giving nature of volunteers, but these should still continue on some level. Praise is still a big motivator. 

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Advice for Caregivers: Life, Death, Bereavement (Video 2:56)

Although many caregivers are actively involved in patient care for a considerable amount of time, they may not be confident or knowledgeable sometimes about the specifics of caring for someone else while maintaining their own quality of life. In addition, thoughts of preparing for a loved one’s death and their own future bereavement after the loved one dies often lurk in the background of their daily living. Healthcare providers can be a great source of support and information for caregivers in terms of confidence building and advisement.

The National Family Caregivers Association shares the following four-point message of advice for caregivers:

1)   Believe in yourself.

2)   Protect your health.

3)   Reach out for help.

4)   Speak up for your rights.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Older Adult, First-Time Grandparents: Interview with Frances Shani Parker (Baby Video)

New Grandparents Mitch and Lonnetta White with Amelia

Becoming grandparents for the first time can be quite spectacular, especially for older adults. My friends Lonnetta and Mitch White recently began this wonderful journey just in time for Grandparents Day on September 9th. Their contagious excitement over the birth of "Miss Amelia" prompted me to feature them on this blog. Not surprisingly, they were eager to share their pride, joys, concerns, and expectations in this interview.

1) What were your thoughts as you anticipated the arrival of your first grandchild?

Lonnetta

I have/had feelings of extreme happiness, joy, and excitement!

My thoughts were fantasies of how wonderful it is going to be to love and spoil a grandchild the way I was loved and spoiled by my paternal grandmother.

Mitch

I remembered the anticipated arrival of my son. Of course, in those days we didn’t know if we were having a girl or boy. The imaging technology simply hadn’t gotten that far. But I was there in the delivery room and had the privilege of seeing Amelia when she emerged from the delivery room. What a wonderful opportunity!

2) How did you feel during the first days after Amelia was born?

 Lonnetta

I felt proud and on top of the world. I was also pleased that she was FINALLY here healthy and absolutely gorgeous! I felt blessed to see, hold, kiss, cuddle, and in all ways experience my granddaughter.

Mitch

I was elated, in wonder of this child who came here with her eyes wide open.

3) What do you love most about this new chapter in you life?

Lonnetta

Life is good! Optimism is a constant companion and more easily accessible. My existence has given me a new lens through which I view the world. Every time I think of her I find myself smiling!

Mitch

She’s been here before!

4) Grandparents are an important influence in their grandchildren’s lives. How does Amelia influence your life?

Lonnetta

I brag incessantly. I now have a subscription to a magazine on parenting. In addition, I read all articles about babies and parenting. I want to do all that I can to help her to be the best at whatever it is she wants to be.

Mitch

I am the proud grandpa who never loses an occasion to show the latest picture or video of Amelia.  She’s the most observant child I have ever seen. I just want to be called Grampa, not Grandpa, but simply Grampa.

8)    What advice do you have for other grandparents in making their grandparent journey successful?

Lonnetta

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your precious little ones! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Encourage and support them in their endeavors to become happy, successful adults.

Mitch

I’m too early in this wonderful adventure to offer advice to others, but I do know that, whether you’re raising a child or supporting your grandchildren, it’s extremely important to show them love by attending to their needs, teaching them to share, and helping them to grow beyond themselves. Right now, Amelia is understandably egocentric. The world is her oyster. Getting her in another structured environment is the next step towards preparing her to interact with the world. She’ll be ready sooner than we think. She’s been here before.

Lonnetta and Mitch, thank you so much for your insightful responses to these questions on grandparenting. Happy Grandparents Day! Of course, our interview would not be complete without Amelia having her say. Welcome to the world, Amelia!

   Another Wonderful Grandchild! Welcome to the World, Emory!

Mitch

Emory's parents (Angie and Pops (Mitch, II) told us of the probable arrival of a new child in June 2015 while we were helping Miss Amelia celebrate her third birthday. We were all extremely excited. But I am Old School and did not want to know the sex of the new baby until Angie gave birth. I felt the same way when she was pregnant with Amelia. Someone let the secret out.

We wanted to be there at her birth just as we were when Amelia was born. But another set of grandparents who were not there when Amelia was born had their turn. Lonnetta and I were introduced to Emory when she was two weeks old by Amelia. It was very clear that Amelia was Emory's big sister. We witnessed the beginning of a bond that only gets stronger (in spite of the occasional sister tugs of war).

Lonnetta

I was surprised to learn that our daughter-in-law was pregnant and happy to know that another grandchild was on the way. Since becoming Nana (my first choice was Granny), I am consumed with a desire to nurture, please and satisfy. Becoming Emory's grandparent is a blessing. It is another opportunity to witness and contribute to the existence, development and maturation of a very special individual. 

Looking at Emory after she was born, I already knew I would do all I can to encourage her to be a proactive person who cares about improving society. I could already dream of her success in whatever field she chooses. I knew then that I wanted her to be a confident, independent and successful young woman. Emory's birth affirmed once again that children are God's gift to us. The miracle of meeting Emory was breathtaking. 

Amelia and Emory

You can read more about Lonnetta, Mitch, Amelia, and Emory at this blog post: "Grandparent Journey: Older Adult Seniors"

Frances Shani Parker, Author
Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback and e-book editions in America and other countries at online and offline booksellers.
Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Frances Shani Parker and Anne Marie Gattari Television Interview: Aging Well in America (Video 30:16)

Frances Shani Parker, an eldercare consultant, former school principal, hospice volunteer, and author of Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes, was featured guest on Aging Well in America, a television show hosted by Anne Marie Gattari. The interview covered these topics:

Hospice

Nursing Homes

Volunteering

Caregiving

Dementia

Death Preparations

Intergenerational Partnerships 

Older Adult Stereotypes

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Caregiver–Patient Poem: Hospice, Dementia Aha! Moment with Music

Caregivers who embrace patient care with win-win expectations know that aha moments can come at any time. Meaningful conversations and feelings drift into a now/here place that helps us worm our way from the unknown to the known. Aha moments are not forced or always joyous and explosive occasions. Many times they are subtle, quiet with a settled satisfaction that brings whispered gifts of personal knowing about life lessons. One reason some people assume hospice work is depressing is that our aha moments with patients are not shared enough with people who are unaware of powerful scenarios we experience sometimes.

Recall a few of the aha moments you have known, especially those that made you better people. Many of you have had them. Share these enlightenments with others who wonder why you do this work or those who express a general interest in what your work entails. Aha moments can enhance lives of patients and caregivers.

This poem describes one of my favorite aha moments as a hospice volunteer. I had a very challenging patient whose name was Katherine. She usually lay in bed sleeping or looking up at the ceiling. I couldn’t tell if she was bored, unhappy, mellow, or all three. Rarely speaking, she never sat up on her own or walked. We mostly stared at each other while I talked.

Knowing that Katherine had been active in her Baptist church in the South at one time, I decided to use my CD player with headphones (this was before iPods, etc.) to help her enjoy music sung by Mahalia Jackson, whom many hail as the greatest gospel singer ever. After reading this poem, you’ll understand why it’s one of my favorite aha moments and why I still smile every time I read it. Share your aha moments with others, and you’ll be smiling, too.

Sounds of Ecstasy

Headphones frame your head.

You look at me, your volunteer,

wonder what they can be.

Mahalia Jackson’s song erupts,

“When the saints go marching in...”

Sleepy eyes widen like popped corn.

“It’s a CD player,” I say.

Your mental video rewinds

through time from the nursing home

to an Alabama church service

where bodies rock to music.

I join you clapping with the choir.

Your stiffened hands move

with a powerful energy that rises

like a resurrected hot flash.

“It’s wonderful,” you whisper.

Mahalia responds singing,

“Walk all over God’s heaven...”

I picture you joking with Death

when it’s your time to holy dance

to the Other Side of Through.

Mesmerized by the music,

you soak in every song.

A CD player exhilarates you

with sounds of ecstasy.

Such an easy thing for me

to bring, but before I leave,

you say you love me twice.

© Frances Shani Parker from Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers in America and other countries and also in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Service Robots: Long-Term Care Technology Helps Staff and Residents (Nursing Home Video 4:22)

Meet Care-O-Bot and CASERO, two German robot brothers that can provide needed services in long-term care facilities. Care-O-Bot is a robot assistant, while CASERO is an automated guided vehicle system. Previously, I shared information with you about Nursebot Pearl, a robot that services patients in private homes. She has a caregiving voice and an emotional face with interchangeable parts. 

Through robots, technology strives to meet the needs of our growing population of older adults who are living longer with healthcare concerns.  Of course, expensive robots will never replace compassionate and efficient healthcare workers. But they can provide services that allow healthcare workers to have more time with residents and enhance quality of their lives. Depending on the degree of dementia, robot trials indicate that people with dementia can accept robots and be amused by them.

What about our two robot brothers and some of the services they perform? Care-O-Bot, the younger of the two, can enter a room, introduce himself, pass out drinks, and even keep track of who drank and how much. With colored cameras used like eyes, this robot can recognize and respond to individual faces, play games, and lead residents in singing. CASERO, a more developed robot, uses its multiple cameras to monitor hallways and transports objects by guiding itself, sending for an elevator, and riding it to another floor. Change is slow, and, while everybody may not love service robots, many people do. You can read more about both robots in this article about service robots.

This video titled ‪Service Robots in Nursing Homes: Care-O-Bot 3 and CASERO‬ shows the robots in operation at Parkheim Berg, a nursing home in Germany:

         

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog

Dementia Quiz: Four Questions (Research, Dementia Adult Daycare Video 2:46)

Can you answer these four questions about dementia? View answers below the dementia daycare video.

1)    Where do most people with dementia die (home or institution)?

2)    Name two illnesses people with dementia usually die from?

3)    What is the second most common form of dementia affecting older adults after Alzheimer’s disease?

4)    Name two reasons dementia daycare is beneficial for caregivers and people with dementia.?

This video titled KRIV 26 - Sheltering Arms for Dementia Patients.flv supports not only people with dementia, but also those with several other impairments. It gives an overview of the kinds of activities that engage participants and improve their quality of life at daycare programs.

Answers (Good luck!):

1)    (Death Location) A widespread myth is that most patients with dementia live and die in nursing homes. Many people think that as the disease progresses, most patients go from home to hospital to a nursing home and stay there, but dementia patients make various transitions in care, following no definite path.

2)    (Death Illnesses) People with dementia, including advanced dementia, usually die from cancer, heart   disease or pneumonia.

3)    (Dementia 2^nd) Dementia with Lewy bodies or Lewy body dementia is the second most common form of dementia to affect older adults after Azheimer’s disease.

4)    (Daycare Benefits) Dementia daycare programs allow people with dementia to continue living at home. They provide beneficial individual and group activities and additional support services. Caregivers enjoy having more time for themselves without worrying about loved ones’ safety and quality of life.

Frances Shani Parker, Author

Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes is available in paperback at many booksellers and in e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers.

Hospice and Nursing Homes Blog